little mac x doc louis fic
by GreatestStoriesNeverTold
Summary: little mac and doc louis have trained for boxing matches for years... but now they're facing the one thing they could never prepare for, their love!
1. Book One: The Original Story

So one day Little Mac was at wherever he trains and Doc Louis was coaching him. Mac was punching a punching bag and Doc was directing him on where to punch and which punching method would be most effective when going against an opponent. "Come on Mac, launch that fist up in that bag's face!," Doc instructed. "How about I launch my fist up your butthole," Mac replied. Doc gasped. "Wh-what did you just say?," he asked. "I said I want to screw you, coach," Mac explained. "L-L-Little Mac-kun… I don't understand… where did this come from?," he asked.

"You've been my coach for as long as I can remember, Doc… my mentor… my father figure… my best friend…," Mac said sincerely, "So of course it's only natural that I develop feelings for you." Mac began walking towards Doc seductively and the saxophone solo from Carelessly Whisper started playing in the background. "I didn't even know you swung that way," Doc stammered. "Are you kidding? I wear a pink sweater everyday for crying out loud," Mac reminded. "L-Little Mac, no. There's a certain line between coach and protege that shouldn't be crossed," Doc resisted. Mac took Doc's hands in his. "Who cares, baby?," Mac said in a really sexy half-Italian half-New York-ish accent cuz he was an Italian-American from the Bronx.

Mac leaned in and kissed Doc passionately on his lips. Doc felt icky for a few moments, but then… he realized that he liked it. He began to kiss Mac back with as much force as Mac dealt him when he first initiated the smooch. Soon enough, they were doing less kissing and more tongue-wrestling, swashbuckling each other with their oral organs and swapping saliva and all of that good stuff. They even managed to touch each other's uvulas, that's how intense they were going at this holy f*ck.

Breaking off this exchange, Doc pulled Mac's arm and led him to the part of the gym where the benchpresses were. Doc laid down on the benches and hoisted Mac on top of him. "Y'know, my name may be Little Mac… but I got a big dick." Mac ripped off his shorts and exposed his mammoth dong. Clearly, whoever had given this boxer his name had never seen what resided between his legs. Doc hastily pulled down his own pants and turned around, facing his plump bottom towards Mac. "Mmm Doc, you may be old but you got a firm booty!," Mac admired, smacking it a few times for good measure.

Mac grabbed his peepee and slowly teased Doc's butthole by circling the opening with the tip of his member. "Just lubricating it a bit," Mac explained. "Mmm, yes Little Mac, I want all of you in me oh God," Doc whispered. "Um, excuse me? What did you just call me?," Mac inquired. "I called you… I called you Little Mac," Doc repeated. "Uh, uh, uh, do you see this?!" Mac gestured very clearly towards his wiener. "Does this look little to you?," he interrogated. "N-no it doesn't," Doc answered. "It doesn't. So if it's not little, t-then what is it, is it like moderate, o-or is it-" "It's big." "What is it, I can't hear you!" "It's a big dick, Mac!" "So then what are you gonna call me?" "Big Mac! I'm gonna call you Big Mac!"

"You want my sausage in your whole-wheat bun?," Mac asked. "Yesss yes I do, Big Mac," Doc replied. "Then say it," Mac ordered. "i want ur sausage in my whole-wheat bun big mac," Doc stated. "Louder!," Mac demanded. "I WANT YOUR SAUSAGE IN MY _**WHOLE WHEAT BUN BIG MAC!**_ ," Doc screamed to the heavens. And so Mac thrust his frankfurter into Doc's holster and began rapidly fukcing him and it was good. Mac got pleasure from it. Doc got pleasure from it. This writer got pleasure from it. You even got some kind of pleasure from it. Overall, it was a pretty sweet sex session.

"Shiiiiet, Doc! I'm gonna cum!," Mac yelled. "Let it all out inside of me, Mac! Let it all out inside of my small intestine!," Doc ordered. "B-but that'll get you pregnant, Doc-senpai!," Mac warned. "Goddammit Mac, I'm your coach! You do what I say, now I say you will unleash your thick, hot current of sticky white baby juice into my anal cavity!," Doc screeched. "You got it, sir!," Mac obliged. Mac put his hands on his hips and let loose his juice into Doc.

A week later, Doc's pregnancy tests showed that Mac had indeed gotten him preggo my eggo. Now out of the steamy sex-driven passion of the moment, they realized that raising a baby was serious fucking business, and they debated whether to have an abortion, give the baby up for adoption, or raise it themselves. After thinking about it heavily and confiding in family and friends, they decided to give the baby up for adoption. It would be rude to not give it a chance to have a sweet-ass life, they thought, and there was no way they could raise them themselves with Little Mac about to go off to Smash Land and Doc on the roster to become a DLC character.

So the fateful day came when Doc was to give birth. At the hospital, Mac waited desperately outside of the operating room as inside Doc brought a brand new human life into the world. When the nurse came out to tell Mac that he could go inside, he rushed in and gazed at the person that and Doc had helped conceive in their passionate and wholesome love making. "She's beautiful…," Mac admired. "Yeah… yeah she is," Doc breathed. "The family that's going to adopt her is in for a real treat," Mac added. "Um… um, Mac…," Doc stammered. "What is it, honey?," Mac asked, rubbing Doc's hair. "I… I don't know if I want to give her up for adoption," Doc revealed.

"Are you crazy?," Mac almost yelled. "We decided on this months ago, we can't go back on this now," he explained. "I know, I know, it's just… that was before, when we had no idea how she would turn out, and now… now that I hold her in my arms, I… I know that I just can't let her go. I can't be separated from her for the rest of our lives," Doc replied. "I feel the same way too Doc, if there was a way we could raise her ourselves, I would, but there isn't, and we agreed on this to give her a better life. There's nothing we can do now," Mac explained.

"Yes there is," Doc said determinately. (Determinately? I-is that a word?) "I'm not letting you take my baby."

The dispute over whether or not the baby should be kept or given up for adoption raged between the two non-stop over the next couple of weeks, and at the end of it they decided that they just couldn't settle it themselves. They took the case to court, with Doc pleading to be able to keep his baby and Mac testifying against him, saying that he had already signed a legal document stating that they were going to give her up for adoption long before birth. While Mac clearly had the legal advantage here, no one ever wants to take a baby from its father and witness the raw sadness that comes afterward, so the case kept getting repealed and repealed until it went all the way up to the Supreme Court. The case was already making national news at the lower court level, and by the time it got all of the way to the top, practically everyone in America knew of this historic happening. The event even caused a delay in the release of Super Smash Bros. for 3DS; because Mac was tied up in all of this judicial nonsense, he wasn't available to go be a playable character, resulting in it being demoted from a summer 2014 release to an October one. The Smash fandom was heartbroken.

On the final day of the Supreme Court case, Mac showed up in a really fine looking leather suit with matching pants and dress shoes and he had a really cool green tie there and his hair was neat and greased and he looked like a million bucks. He figured if he was going to nail it, he had to appear like a dude who knew what he was doing to win the jury's support. However, Mac and his legal team were surprised when Doc showed up in a Sunday dress, wheeling the baby along in a stroller. While Mac's legal team had had good intentions and thought their designs through, Doc's legal team was clearly even smarter - depicting Doc as a mother who just wants the best for her daughter would appeal to the jury's, the judge's, and the entire world's emotions by striking them through the heart with this stunning display of pathos, an excellent use of rhetoric in the visual sens-Jesus fucking Christ, I sound like my English teacher.

The case proceeded for what felt like hours for Mac and his associates. While they made no blunders in showing their evidence and speaking to the people, their intellectual approach was no match for Doc's sob story of his fight to keep his offspring against a man who wanted to sell her off for monetary gain (do you get money if you put your babies up for adoption? fuck if I know) combined with legit flowing tears roused not just the courtroom, but fellow mothers and people with hearts in general who can feel that feel everywhere.

In the end, the court ruled in favor of Doc, and he got to keep his baby. Newspapers ran with the headline of 'FATHER WINS SUPREME COURT CASE AND GETS TO KEEP HIS CHILD IN THE FACE OF CAPITALISM' or something else like that, and journalists who actually sought to ask the question of why the Supreme Court even took a case like this when it had no effect on the country as a whole were widely ignored. Distraught by his defeat, Mac sunk into depression and took to alcohol to hide his problems. He was eventually cut from the fifth iteration of Smash Bros., quit the boxing game, and not only became a forgotten Nintendo character but also a low-life bum with the worst fucking life imaginable holy shit.

And Doc went to a lot of new-mother seminars, swapped numbers with a bunch of really helpful women he later hung out and watched Spanish telenovelas with, and raised his baby to be a happy, healthy, loving young maiden.

One day, many, many years later, Doc and his daughter were driving to their relatives' house for Thanksgiving. However, their car broke down for contrived plot reasons, but they were fortunately near a pub. Doc went inside to ask for directions, but the bartender insisted that he buy a drink before he get any tips. Next to Doc's stool sat a familiar-looking, down-on-his-luck fellow who offered to buy the fair Doc a scotch. The bartender ignored him, saying that he had no money and wasn't even going to able to pay for the drink he was consuming now; in fact, the bartender was liable to throw this fine sir out the door any minute now. Doc thanked this man for his courtesy anyhow and then bought his drink.

As he gulped his beer, Doc's vision became blurry, but at the same time, also cleared. He took a good look at his companion and though, when sober, he wouldn't be able to recognize him over how unwell kept his face was and how messy his hair, raggedy his clothes, and so on and so forth were, now that he was wasted, he saw him clearly underneath all of that. Indeed, this was his beloved…

"Mac? I-is that you?." Doc asked. Mac belched a hearty burp. "Who the hell are you, y'old fuck?," he asked. "I-it's me, it's your old coach, Doc Louis," Doc explained. "Holy shit Doc, this is heavy," Mac replied in an obvious excuse to shoehorn Back to the Future references into this fic. "Wh-where have you been all of this time? You look like a bum," Doc observed. "Well, I've been living off of the land is all, goin' about life my way, doing what I want," Mac explained, "How's about you?" "Well, you know, I've been raising our daughter and all that. Tough stuff, but I think she's turning out fine," Doc replied. "Ah yes, that little bitch. Fucking ruined our lives," Mac said. They both chuckled. "Yep. If it wasn't for her, we'd still be together. Happily married," Doc mused. "Mm-hmm." Mac agreed. Being under the influence of alcohol, he couldn't help but add the following line - "In fact, we'd probably have boned each other a lot more."

Doc looked at Mac. "You're right… so many years of good boning… wasted…," he realized, and took another sip of his beer. "We should… catch up on that," Mac suggested, looking at Doc suggestively and wiggling his eyebrows. Doc turned his head towards the utility closet, and then gave Mac a look that said, " _You know what I'm thinking?_ " and Mac gave back an expression that said, " _Aw yiss nigga_ "

A short while later, Doc and Mac were in the closet passionately making out as they once had before. Their lips locked, they explored the tastes of each other's mouths as they caressed each other's bodies like they once had before, like they hadn't done in many decades. They caressed each other like they were the only two humans left in the world, or like the world was about to end any second. Mac pulled away from Doc. "I fucking love you, you know that," he muttered in between taking in gusts of air. Doc pulled Mac in and gave him a gigantic smooch. "Yeah, I know that, and I always have known that," Doc replied. They continued with their tongue-wrestling, and began removing each other's clothes, only seldom parting their mouths for mere nanoseconds to ensure that they didn't suffocate from a lack of air, oh yes. They were really into it.

It didn't take long before Mac was on his knees in front of Doc's weewee. "I never got to pay you back for all of the years of wisdom that you gave me… all of the lessons, all of the techniques… this is my gift to you," Mac declared. And he deep-throated that shit, oh my God. Mac sucked that thing like a champ; well, he was a champ, a boxing champ, but it turns out he was a champ at devouring the D too. Doc reeled back in pleasure. He moaned loud groans and grabbed Mac's head, pushing it further and further towards his crotch. Between Doc's loud sounds of utmost joy and Mac's sloppy sucking, it was a surprise that no one outside in the pub's lobby heard this commotion. However, one person outside of the pub knew that something was amiss - Doc and Mac's daughter.

She sat in the car, twiddling her fingers, kicking the back of the seat in front of her, tracing her fingers around on the condensed shit on the window, wondering where, oh where, could her loving, just father be. It had been a good twenty minutes since he'd left her, promising he'd be back in a short while - surely, it didn't take nearly half-an-hour to get some directions, unless their destination was quite far, and she knew it wasn't. Eventually, this brave maiden decided to get out of the car and look into the pub for her father herself and see just what was going on.

Doc was about to let loose his old man juice within Mac's mouth. Mac had Doc's dick lodged so far into his mouth that he was about to puke all over it. But at the last second, where had they just waited one more moment Mac's gag reflexes would've kicked in, Doc pulled out. "I have a very special place I want to put this," he announced.. Mac turned around and spread his buttcheeks wide. "No, no, not yet. Just as we did before, we need to lubricate it." Doc laid down on his back - on what, I don't know, they were in a utility closet, there wasn't much there let alone something long enough for Doc to deposit himself on - and motioned for Mac to place his keister upon his face. After doing so, Doc took to desperately licking every single inch of Mac's buttcheecks and between those buttcheeks as well, as if he hadn't had a morsel to quench his thirst upon for years and was now taking full advantage of Mac's majestic booty sweat.

The daughter entered the pub. "Hello?," she asked. Everyone was too damn drunk to hear her. She walked up the bartender. "Um, excuse me?," she inquired. The bartender stopped wiping some cups for a second and faced her direction. "Sorry doll, but you're way too young for what we sell here," he explained. "No, no, I'm looking for my dad. He came in here to ask for directions," she stated. "Oh, did he?," he replied. Looking at her face, he did see some semblance of past customers in her. "You're right, I do think I've seen a couple of guys with a similar looking mug to yours around here somewhere," he mused. "A _couple_ of guys?," she questioned.

At that moment, loud screams echoed from the utility closet throughout the entire pub. "YESSSS DOC, FUCK ME! FUCK ME WITH THAT BIG BLACK COCK OH MY GODDDD!"

Just a bit later, the door to the utility closet was opened by a grossed-out bartender and little girl who saw two grown men in the nude roughly screwing each other on the floor.

The ride back home was kind of embarrassing.

The daughter buried her face on the car seat cushions, Doc drove, and Mac sat in the passenger's seat.

"So how long do you think it'll take her to get over this?," Mac asked. "Probably never. She'll be scarred for life," Doc explained, "But once the pain dulls down a bit, we'll be there for her. Together." "Together?," Mac asked, "You mean…" "Yes. As we fucked each other without a care in the world, Mac, I realized just one thing… I-I don't want to be without you anymore." "Really? But… what about the court case, all of those years before?," Mac inquired. "What's done is done, that's all in the past. What matters now is the present. And what we can look forward to in the future," Doc said. Mac felt really touched. "You mean it?," he asked. "I guess what i'm trying to say is… will you give me one last chance, Mac? To take you higher than you've ever gone, to give you pleasures unobtainable in the boxing ring, to score you the greatest victory we can get in this life?"

Tears were streaming down Mac's face. He touched Doc's hand on the steering wheel. "Yes…," he whispered, ""I do."

James Brown's "I FEEL GOOD" starts playing

Not too long later, Doc and Mac found themselves in their old training room, taking in all of the nostalgia, reliving past memories. "This is where it all happened," Mac mused. "You mean, where I trained you to become the boxing champion you are today?," Doc asked. "No… where we had our first screw." Mac reminded. "Oh yeah, I remember now…" He shot Mac a seductive look. "Want to _train_ some more… Big Mac?," he offered. "Wouldn't with anybody else but you," he accepted.

With Mac down on his back, Doc laid down on top of him and started anally screwing him again. As he pumped up and down, he showered Mac with pecks all over his face. After giggling, Mac returned them with a huge kiss, and they continued making out and caressing each other, squeezing each other's buttcheeks, their nipples, and what have you, as Doc pounded away at Mac's asshole and eventually blew his load inside of him.

Soon enough, Mac gave birth to a son, who the two hoped would help cheer up their daughter, now so tormented by what she saw at the bar that day that she spent her first few teenage years heavily depressed, cutting herself and regularly attempting suicide. Of course, we will laugh this off because this story must have a happy ending.

Eventually, Nintendo called up Little Mac, offering him a spot in the new Smash Bros. As he stood in the kitchen listening to the representative on the other line, he looked back at Doc and their baby boy and told Ninty to fuck off. He was casting off his own boxing gloves and working towards a new goal - becoming a champion family man.

 **END OF BOOK ONE**


	2. Book Two: The Fuckening

In an ominously dark room somewhere, a man wearing cool dark shades and a cool dark suit and looking like a badass hung up a phone. Exiting the room where the phone was held for private conversation, the man walked through the hallways of this building and entered a very large room inhabited by a very important individual. This large room was very impressively decorated, as if it were a dwelling place for a king, and in the center of the room, up a couple of steps, was a throne in which sat President of Nintendo of America, Reggie Fils-Aime.

"Why have you come to see me?," Reggie asked in a booming, manly voice. "I-I called Little Mac, sir," the man explained. "Ah, is that so," Reggie muttered, slouching in his chair with his elbow on the left handle and his fist on his cheek, "What did he say?" "W-well… he…," the man stammered. "Get on with it," Reggie ordered. "He told me to fuck off, sir," the man revealed. Reggie gave off a guttural "Hmm…" After a moment of silence, he finally said, "Well, we can't have that now, can we." He focused on his visitor. "Thank you for this piece of information." "Can I go now?," he asked.

Reggie gestured for a couple of his minions, standing in the corners of the room, to come forward. They did so, and stopped on either side of the man. Reggie pointed to the left minion, and then to the man. In one swift movement, the minion snapped the man's neck, and he fell to the ground. "Now," Reggie began, "See if you two can get our client to… change his mind." The two minions nodded, and they headed towards the exit to begin their mission. Holy shit guys, I wonder what's going to happen.

MEANWHILE

It was a really sunny morning in some suburban town somewhere like wow, it was pretty much perfect the skies were blue and the sun was out and the grass was green and it was a nice shade of green it wasn't like a shitty shade of green like rabbit shit green, nah bruh, this was really nice, bright and shiny green. And in this suburban town was a house, because houses are in towns, and in one of those houses were a few people, because people live in houses. And in one particular house in this particular town were two particular people, Doc Louis and Little Mac. You may remember them if you read the previous installment in the series, and if you didn't, then what the fuck is wrong with you smh

So Doc Louis and Little Mac were sitting in the kitchen this fine morning, enjoying breakfast with their children. Just a couple of years ago, this inseparable couple had hated each other's guts in the decades following an intense court case over the custody of their older child, but after they reunited in a gentlemanly pub, their love was rekindled and proof of that true love was brought into the world in the form of their latest son, whom they had been diligently raising for the past few months.

Doc was doing that thing where he tried to spoon-feed the baby by making weird faces with his mouth and the baby spit out a little bit of food on its bib with each intake and Mac was reading a newspaper and their daughter was looking at something on her phone. This daughter hasn't been assigned a name yet so let's give her the name Mackenzie. Get it cuz Mackenzie and she's the daughter of a guy named Mac and this is the most clever thing ever oh my god

and I don't know what to name the baby but it doesn't matter cuz he does fuck all in this fic anyway

So Mac was like "Hey Mack, shouldn't you put your phone away and spend some quality time with your family?" And Mack was like, "No, I don't even want to see your faces." "Mack, are you sttill upset about that time when you found out that me and your father were back together?," Mac asked. Mack put her phone down for a bit, "Yes I am! You guys were fucking in the closet of a tavern, you don't understand how traumatizing it was for me to see that," she yelled. "Mack, we already gave you the talk, there's nothing bad about sex or wanting to screw people," Mac explained. "It's not about the screwing, it's just-ugh, you guys don't understand, I hate you," Mack complained, sinking her face back into her phone again. "Mack, you're being so stubborn, D-Doc, can you talk some sense into your daughter please?," Mac requested.

"Om nom nom om nom nom," Doc said while doing those faces again. "Doc, stop being weird and help raise your child," Mac ordered. "Don't be rude," Doc retorted, "And I am helping raise our child, you see the lengths I'm going through to get him to eat." "Not that child, this child, the one you've been neglecting ever since that little fucker came into this family," Mack whined. "Watch your language, young lady," Mac instructed. "Mack, honey, we only had this baby so he'd bring some joy into your life," Doc said. "And he already has, I assure you," Mac replied. "No, not you Mac, I meant Mack," Doc clarified. "Really? Oh wow, that's going to cause a lot of confusion," Mac pointed out. "Hey, you're the one who chose the name," Doc reminded. "Well, don't let me name anything else, I worked at Nintendo for a bunch of years so of course I picked up some traits from them," Mac explained. "Stop it with the sly commentary on the Japanese video game industry guys, it's not charming," Mack complained.

"Look Mack, the point is, we just want to help make your life as happy as it can be, but we can't do that if you won't communicate with us," Mac explained. "I-I don't want to talk about it," Mack refused, "My bus is here, I gotta go." She hoisted her backpack onto her back and rushed out the front door. "Mack, wait-," Mac called out, but he was too late. "Ugh, what are we going to do with her?," he muttered to himself. "I wouldn't sweat it," Doc replied, "She's a teenager now, she's got hormones and stuff. It'll be over by the time she's 20 or so." "But I don't want to wait until she's 20. I missed out on over a decade of her life. She's about two-thirds of the way to adulthood now, and there's such little time left for me to spend with her. I don't want it to be wasted because she's being a li'l bitch," Mac complained. "Aw, you poor thing," Doc soothed Mac, patting him on the back. "Tell you what: I just used up six containers of baby food trying to feed our child one serving and there's a huge mess here, so how about I clean it up, you put him to bed, and then afterward we do some lovin'." "You know just how to cheer me up," Mac replied with a smile on his face, and pecked Doc on the lips.

Doc took the baby's food-stained bib off of him and handed the baby over to Mac. As Doc began cleaning up the premises, Mac carried the now-sleeping infant up to his room and placed him down in his crib. "I won't miss out on a single second of yours," Mac whispered to his son as he covered him in an adorable teeny blanket and shut the door.

A short while later, Doc and Mac were passionately making out in their room. They stepped back and forth throughout its diameter, sucking each other's faces with fervor. They landed on their bed; Doc withdrew from Mac's lips for a bit and began spitting into his mouth, which Mac swallowed happily. Doc continued spitting all over Mac's face; Mac scooped up the saliva with his palm and deposited them into his mouth before hungrily pulling Doc back onto him and continuing to assault his oral cavity. Mac began pulling at Doc's shirt and soon enough was able to rip it in half, exposing Doc's chubby but nonetheless very arousing and manly chest. Doc did the same to him, and as they continued making out whilst topless they began pulling at the garments below their waist as well, hastily removing them to get to the main dish of this five-course meal.

After they were nude, Mac grabbed all of their clothes and chucked them out of a nearby window, a feat one would normally view as rather stupid, but in this case, as he was really fucking horny, it seemed like a wise thing to do to make their engagement more lascivious and naughty. He then spread Doc's asschecks wide open and began fervently licking at his butthole like insert simile here.

After moistening his lover's anus, Mac began to pound his backside with his very long, foreign and Italian wiener when a car pulled into their driveway. Two unknown persons stepped out of it - one could note this duo looked kind of like the minions that Reggie dispatched in the prologue. Pulling weapons out of the vehicle with them, they charged towards the front door and kicked it down, barging into the house. "PUT YOUR HANDS UP WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM!," they screamed. Upstairs, Doc and Mac froze mid-coitus. "Who the fuck is th-?," Doc began, but he was cut off from the sound of gunfire below. "We know you're here, Little Mac, come willingly and we won't hurt you!" They stayed silent for a few more seconds, hoping that these madmen would soon find their way out, but after a few really tense moments, one of the guys said "They're not on this floor, let's check upstairs." And Mac had a little bit of shit in his pants. Given that an additional smell that was now filling the room, he assumed that he wasn't the only one. Also they weren't wearing any pants.

Mac pulled his dick out of Doc and ran over to the window he had thrown the clothes out of, opening it back up. He climbed out of it and onto the roof of the house. "Come on Doc, we gotta get out of here," Mac whispered. As he scampered down the side of their home, he noticed that Doc's fat, plump ass was stuck in the window. "I-I can't get out! Help!," Doc scream-whispered back. "Come on, Doc, push! Push as hard as you can!," he instructed his coach in an interesting reversal of roles. "I'm trying, I'm trying!," he replied. By now, the two men were up on the first floor and were barging into random rooms looking for their target. They entered the baby's department, and he started crying loud as shit. Doc's maternal instinct kicked in, and he began pushing himself back into the room. "Doc, no, what are you doing?!," Mac screeched. "I've got to go back in for the baby!," Doc explained. "We don't have time, we have to save ourselves!," Mac shouted. "We can't just leave our child!," Doc refused. "Yes we can!," Mac retorted. He jumped up and grabbed onto Doc's flabby arms. Mac's added weight made Doc too much for the window to hold onto, and it broke off of the wall, causing our heroes to fall down onto the pavement.

Fortunately, Doc's girth saved the two of them from incurring any injuries. Mac picked up their clothes which lay on the nearby lawn, grabbed Doc's arm, and ran towards their car. Ripping the doors open, the two piled in and shut them behind them. The car's alarm went off, and the two men knew to rush into Doc and Mac's room. Mac rummaged through his pants for the car keys and found them just in the nick of time. The minions got to the window of the room - well, where the window used to be, now it was just around Doc's waist - and began to fire down on the car just as Mac rushed to back out of the driveway. The windshield shattered, but that was all the villains were able to accomplish before Doc and Mac made their getaway on the road, in the nude.

MEANWHILE

At school Mackenzie was at lunch, sitting at a table alone, being a fucking loner. She dove into the crappy school lunch, which was week-old frozen pizza - it probably wasn't a week old, but it tasted like it to Mack - and was surprised when she saw another student coming her way. She had short hair, glasses, earrings hanging from each ear, she looked like a kind of hipster nerd. Taking a seat right next to Mack, she introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Annie, I notice you sit by yourself all of the time."

"Yeah, I do," Mack replied, taking another bite. "Why's that?," she asked. "I'm not much of a people person," she explained. "Really? 'cuz when all of the kids talk about you, they say that you were a really out-going chick a couple of grades ago," she explained. "They do? Why would they talk about me?," Mack muttered. "There isn't anybody that kids don't talk about. We're in middle school, nobody's spared," said Annie. Mack chuckled a bit. "Huh, is that right?" "Yep, it totally is. So, I'm new to the school this year, and I don't have any preconceived notions about you, therefore the kids at the other table thought I was the best candidate to chat with you," she told.

Mack frowned a bit more, as if that was even possible given how much she frowned already. "So you didn't want to talk to me yourself? You just did what others told you to do?," she asked. "Well hey, I would've turned you down if I didn't want to talk to you. Come on, Mack is it? I want to get to know you better," she explained. "Nah, you don't want to get to know me," Mack refused. "Sure I do. Starting with the life-traumatizing event that caused a 180 on your personality… Please?," she begged. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Mack replied.

"Alright then. Let's start with some simpler stuff. What's your favorite color?," Annie asked. "Red," Mack answered. "Really? Red's my favorite color!," Annie replied. "That's cool," Mack said, opening up ever so slightly. "Kay kay, now you ask me one now," Annie suggested. "Um… okay, but like… what category?," Mack asked. "Anything you like," Annie offered. "A'ight… what's your favorite band?," she inquired. "Ooh, definitely Generic Death Metal Band," Annie answered. Mack's eyes lit up. "Really?! Generic Death Metal Band's my favorite too!" She then tuned down her excitement for fear it would turn her new acquaintance off. "Er, I mean, you don't seem like the kind of person who'd listen to Generic Death Metal Band. I mean, there's death metal, and then there's General Death Metal Band death metal, which is pretty fucking extreme," he noted. "Are you kidding? Bruh, no one could ever resist their allure, especially after hearing the things they can do with instruments," she explained. "oh my gawwwwwd yesssss," Mack agreed.

And the two hit it off, becoming the best of buddies by the end of the day. In truth, this wasn't anything out of the ordinary for Annie, who could bond with anybody easily thanks to her bubbly personality, but it was a major thing to Mack, who for quite some time now had been really socially awkward and desperately wanting social attention, as much as it seemed to bystanders that she didn't. Perhaps, most importantly, she now had someone to text.

So, it came as quite a shock when she walked home from school - why didn't she take the bus home? who really knows? - and came to her house and saw that the front was busted upon what the FUCK

And then she went inside and saw that the walls were all blasted up and shit what the hell even happened in here and then she went upstairs and saw the HUGE FUCKING HOLE in her parents' room where a fat fucking _chunk_ had been taken out and she was like "what went on here omg where are my parents im gonna cry omfg" and she probably would've had a mental breakdown or something if she hadn't heard her baby brother crying. She rushed to the aid of this "little fucker" as she had called him before, cradling him in his arms. Before, she would've thought of him as nothing but a nuisance that sobs and poops, but now, in the wake of this disaster with her caretakers missing, she saw him as the only family member she had left, and someone she now had to protect, and perhaps love, until the crisis was solved.

MEANWHILE Doc and Louis were driving on the road and they were still nude. They hadn't had the courage to put their clothes back on cuz 1.) Mac was driving and he couldn't anyway distracted driving is fucking terrible and 2.) they were still legit shook from being hunted down. At last, Doc finally decided to speak up: "Who the hell were those guys and why were they after us?" "I have no idea. We have to get to the bottom of this," Mac suggested. "Alright, but how are we going to do that? Turn back around and confront them?," Doc asked. "No way, you got a fucking death wish?," he said in his still-sexy half-Italian half-New York-ish accent cuz he was an Italian American from the Bronx. "We're just gonna keep going until the plot advances."

MEANWHILE the two minions from before had returned to that mysterious building. They entered Reggie's throne room once again, ready to give him the news. "Did you capture Little Mac?," Reggie asked, only now, he had a bit of fear in his voice, unlike before when he was firm and harsh when initially telling them their objectives. "N-no sir, he and his bae escaped before we could apprehend them," one of the minions explained. "Jesus tittyfucking Christ," Reggie proclaimed in his seductive executive accent. He took an assertive tone, but one could still see that he was worried about something. "Listen here you sons of bitches, you remember what I had you do to that one NPC? I'll have two other minions do that to you if you don't succeed in your mission," Reggie threatened. "You wouldn't do that," the other minion spoke up, "We're too valuable to the organization. The higher-ups would never let you get rid of us."

Reggie stood up from his chair. He pounded his fists together. "Do you know why I was chosen for this position? Because I kick ass, and I take names. Do you want to see how I kick ass?!," Reggie shouted. "N-no sir," the other minion whimpered. "Good. Now get out of here." The two minions dashed out of the room, and once the doors shut behind them, Reggie pulled out a cigar and lit that shit up. After blowing out a puff of smoke, he rubbed his temple. "What am I going to do now…?" As he contemplated stuff, another individual burst into the room with some grave news. "Sir… _he_ 's on the phone for you…," this individual stated. Reggie's heart stopped. Was it who he thought it was? "He…?," Reggie asked. " _He_ ," the individual confirmed. Reggie gulped.

Walking through the hallway, Reggie entered the private phone room and spoke into the receiver. "... Hellio?"

" _こんにちは、私は任天堂社長岩田聡です。私はあなたに直接電話を入れて規定しています。あなたのレジー性交。新しいビデオゲームでリトルマックを取得するには、一つの仕事を持っていた、あなたが失敗している。あなたがその頑固なディックが戻ることに同意するものとしてもらうことのために、私は十分な長待っていたが、あなたはあまりにも時間がかかっている_ *," said the guy on the other line.

"P-please, Iwata-senpai, I just need more time!," Reggie begged, tears flowing from his eyes.

" _私はあなたの愚かな外国人あなたに十分な時間を与えている。あなたが最後のチャンスを持っている。その後、私は私の手に掲げる事項がかかります。_ **," he concluded, and hung up.

Reggie laid down on the floor, sobbing quietly.

* Roughly translated: " _Hello, I am Nintendo President Satoru Iwata. I am putting forth this phone call directly to you. Fuck you Reggie-kun. You haddu oneu jobbu, to get Little Mac-san in the new video game and you have failedu. I have waited longgu enoughu for you to get that stubborn dickku to agree to return but you have taken too long._ "

**Roughly translated: " _I have givingu you enough time you baka gaijin. You have one last chance. Afterward, I will take matters into my hands._ "

MEANWHILE Mackenzie was at her house and called the police because this was a pretty important emergency. "This is 911, how can we help you?," the operator asked. "Okay, okay, listen, I came back from school and I found my house broken into. The door was knocked down, there are bullet holes in the wall, and my parents are gone holy sh-" "Wait, this voice sounds familiar, have you called before?," the operator inquired. "Y-yeah, I have," she replies, "But that's inconsequential to my current dilemn-" "Hold on for a second,, let us check something," the operator interrupted. Mack was put on hold. "Never Gonna Give You Up" played for about a minute. Mack found herself jamming to it for a bit.

The operator came back. "Yeah, you've dialed this number about twenty times before. And all of those times you said you were heavily depressed, had a knife to your throat, and were calling us in a desperate plea to get you some help." "Yeah, well, that was in a past phase," she explained. 'Well we've had enough of your prank calls, missy," the operator replied. "What? Those weren't prank calls, I was legit fucking depressed, I wanted to kill myself. And right now I'm alone in my house with a baby and there are some goddamn criminals around here blowing shit-" The operator hung up.

Pissed, Mackenzie texted Annie saying "bruh i'm done with the police fuckin smh" followed by a cluster of disgruntled emojis. Annie then texted her back saying "aww cheer up boo" and then sent a link to a funny cat video. Mack texted her back as well, now saying "LOL i'm weak," with some laughing emojis. And then Annie texted her saying "you tryna stay over at my house for the night?" And then Mack texted her back saying "yeah we gonna turn uhhh?" and then Annie texted her back in return saying "bruh im already turnt" and it went back and forth like this for an hourOH MY GOD

So Mack and the baby went over to Annie's house and Annie's parents were away so they just chilled for a bit I guess wait I wonder if I can insert a lesbian angle into this fic would it be awkward since they're 13 like is that illegal idkkkkkkk

MEANWHILE Mac and Doc finally recovered enough to stop their car by a hotel. Putting their clothes on, they entered the building and rented a room. After getting their keys, they went and locked themselves in their room, determined to stay for a few days until the whole thing blew over and those mysterious figures were out of their hair. Oh and they got horny so they screwed I guess

"OH MY GOD YESSSS DOC, FUCK ME!," Mac screamed, "FUCK ME AND CUM IN MY TIGHT BUTTHOLE MMMMMMM" "DOC? DOC?! DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING DOCTOR TO YOU BOY DO I HAVE A DOCTORATE IN SOME SUBJECT IN THE MEDICAL FIELD BOYYYYY!?," Doc screamed. He stopped fucking Mac for a bit. "No no no, keep pounding me pleaseeee it feels so gooddddd~~~," Mac cried. "I FUCKING SAID DO I HAVE A FUCKING DOCTORATE, BOY!," Doc yelled. "NO YOU DON'T," Mac replied. "WHAT DID I MAJOR INNNN BOYYYYYYYY," Doc screamed. "YOU MAJOREDDDD INNNNNN COAAAAAAAAACHINGGGGGGGG," Mac cried as Doc continued pounding him. "AH! AH! AH!," Mac let out bursts of pure joy. "SO WHAT DO YOU SAYYYYYY?!," Doc asked. "OH MY GOD YESSS COACHHHHHHH" "LOUDERRRRR!" "OH MY GODDD YESSSSS _COACHHHHHH!"_ "I'M NOT GONNA FILL YOU WITH MY SPERM IF YOU KEEP SAYING IT LIKE A LITTLE PUSSY BITCH!" " _ **HOLY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST-!"**_

A group of fellow hotel dwellers pounded on the door. "Shut up in there!," "We don't need to hear your gross love making!", "Keep it down!," were the cries of the individuals. "Huh?," stammered Doc, who was pulled out of the zone. That wasn't the only thing that was pulled out - so was his peepee. It ejaculated all over Mac's back, dowsing his spine in that hot, sticky substance. "Mmm," moaned Mac, who probably unleashed his own load upon the sheets. "Sorry about that honey," Doc said, and proceeded to lick his own semen off of Mac.

As he did so, the sexual rush of the activity wore off and not only did Doc wonder why the hell he was lapping up his own cum, he also finally thought about the well-being of his offspring. "Mac, we just abandoned our children, did you know that?," Doc asked. "I know, it's been eating away at me too. But I'm sure they're fine. Mack's old enough to take care of herself and I'm sure she's looking after the baby," Mac reassured. "But what about those two guys? What if they go after them?," Doc asked. "They were only after me. You didn't even have to run away with me, you could've technically stayed behind and still have been safe," Mac pointed out. "Oh, but I would never leave you," Doc said in a really sweet voice. "Aww," Mac replied, and kissed him. "Oh, you still have some cum on your lips," he pointed out, and licked his own. "Wow, it tastes really sweet. You been eatin' fruit lately?," Mac asked. "Yep," Doc replied, "Lots of watermelon."

MEANWHILE holy shit wow that was fucking terrible im sorry

omg

MEANWHILE Mack and Annie were still in Annie's house from like five paragraphs ago (seven if you include my interjections there) and the baby was starting to cry. "Oh no, he's crying," Mack moaned, "What do we do?" "What do you mean, what do we do, aren't you his older sister? You should know how to deal with him," Annie explained, taking the baby in her own arms and rocking him gently. "Well, I haven't wanted much to do with him at all really," Mack revealed. "Really? There are tons of kids around the world who would love to be in your position, to have a cute little baby brother like you do," Annie said, "You ought to cherish and make the most of your sibling connection."

"Eh, I don't know, I feel like I'd make a pretty shitty sibling anyway," Mack whined. "Well, you won't know until you try," Annie pointed out, and gave the baby to her friend. Mack looked down at this bundle of joy, at her own flesh and blood. In that moment, the baby stopped crying, and looked up at his sister. He giggled. And she smiled back in return. Heartwarming music played in the background. "We're doing it… we're bonding," Mack proclaimed triumphantly. Then she took a whiff of the air. Record scratch, the baby had shitted itself. The little thing wasn't smiling because he was spending quality time with his sister, it was because it had relieved himself of the waste inside his body and had deposited a good dump in his diaper.

Well, you can choose to believe he smiled because of the bonding, I mean, I won't judge.

In a montage, Mack and Annie took the baby's stinky diaper off, pampered him up with some old baby supplies Annie's parents still had from when she was an infant like some fucking decade-old baby powder probably made his ass stale as shit but they didn't know any better, they were teenagers. And then Annie ran to the nearby store while Mack stayed at the house and played peek-a-boo with her brother. Annie came back with some diapers and wipes and a couple of containers of baby food. And so they dressed him up again and began to feed him. The baby didn't eat the food correctly cuz it was a baby, y'know, like a few months old doesn't know nothin', so Annie told Mack she had to make the weird faces to get the baby to eat and so Mack made the funny faces and then she realized that not only did that have a practical application, but she also had renewed respect for her father because of it. And this all went on to some music, preferably 80s music, like really funky 80s music.

MEANWHILE those two minions from before were looking for where Mac could've gone and so they tapped into some really secretive stuff like Mac's credit card history cuz they were a really shady organization who could do stuff like that and so they checked it and they saw that he checked into a hotel like an hour ago and holy _shit_ they knew where to find him now this is getting really interesting

MEANWHILE it was in the middle of the night like probably three fucking thirty AM like the time the narrator is writing this story and Mac and Doc had fallen asleep on each other and they were snoring and stuff and then WHAT THE FUCK the two minions burst into their room with their weapons and pointed them at them and then shouted for them to get up and put their hands up. And Doc and Mac were legit shook for a moment but then their fight-or-flight mechanism kicked in and they decided to whoop ass so they lunged forward towards the two minions to try to fight back.

They succeeded in pushing back a minion each, and when those minions fell down, the hoods on their heads fell off, revealing their identities. Mac and Doc gasped. These two minions… they were Mario and Link of the _Super Mario_ and _The Legend of Zelda_ franchises respectively!

Little Mac and Doc Louis shut the door after pushing them out into the hallway and locked it behind them. Mac grasped his head and muttered to himself, "This can't be happening, this can't be happening…" "What is it, Mac?," Doc asked, "Who are those guys?" "What, you don't remember them? Right, you've always just been as assist trophy, not a playable character, so you probably never met up with them. That's Mario and Link, they're part of the _Smash Bros._ games' rosters. Been in every one," he explained. "Oh, so they're your friends then?," Doc asked. "No. They're extremely loyal and basically slaves to Nintendo, that corporation churns out like ten games with them in them every year. Makes sense that they'd be hired to do their dirty work," Mac muttered to himself.

"So wait, what exactly is going on here?," Doc inquired, a bit confused. "Nintendo's after me. They want me in the new _Smash Bros._ and they'll do anything they can to get me in it," Mac explained. "Well, they wouldn't hurt you, would they? I mean, they'd need you in good condition to add you to the roster," Doc pointed out. "Not necessarily. They just need me ali-LOOK OUT!" Mac and Doc dove to the floor as a missile hit the window, causing that whole side of the room to blow up and debris and dust to fly everywhere. Barely conscious, Mac saw a helicopter floating by the whole hole in the wall and several individuals climbing down a rope ladder from that copter and into the room. One of those individuals, he made out before he blacked out, was Reggie.

When he woke up, Mac found himself in a strange room in a mysterious building. He looked around him; indeed, he was chained to the wall, and on either side of him was his beloved, Doc Louis, and surprisingly, his daughter, Mackenzie, and some other girl around Mack's age that Mac had never met before. As he continued to survey his surroundings, he heard a voice entering the room. "I see you're finally awake." A seductive, executive voice.

Reggie walked up to Mac and, because Mac was chained to the wall, could do anything he wanted to him. At the moment, he just chose to take Mac's chin in his hand. "We've gone through a lot of trouble for you, Mac, you have no idea. Everyone here at Nintendo has been worried sick about you," he explained, "It wasn't very nice of you to blow us off so many times." Reggie backed up, and was soon joined by Mario and Link at his side. The two of them pulled out handguns. "I'll make it simple for you, Mac,, all you have to do is join the _Smash Bros._ roster again. That's all you've had to do, all this time," he explained.

Mario and Link cocked their guns.

"But… if you don't… your husband and your daughter's heads get blown off." Mac gasped in shock. "It's an easy decision, Mac, just choose the one where everyone wins," Reggie coaxed. Mac thought deeply. He couldn't go back to _Smash Bros…_. he couldn't relive the horrors there. But that the same time, he couldn't let the individuals he loved most in the world die.

"Now you wouldn't want your family's last memories to be of you getting knocked by a missile blast, would you…?," Reggie asked, motioning towards Doc. "Or of yelling for help and receiving none, of crying for her parents to help but for them to deny her in her hour of need, of being beaten into submission and then smacked against the wall and being knocked out?," Reggie questioned again, this time motioning towards Mack. Mac took another good look at her. This time, he saw her bruises, more profoundly than he did before. His sweet, beautiful Mack. He remembered his last encounter with her, when they argued. His eyes welled up with tears. He couldn't let that be the last conversation they shared. He couldn't. Not arguing over…

Mac's eyes widened. He glared at Reggie. "Where's my son?," Mac asked in a gruff tone. "Only I can ask questions here," Reggie corrected. "I said, where, the hell, is my son?!," Mac asked, shouting this time. "It's a simple yes or no question. Will you join, or won't you?," Reggie reiterated. "I'm not saying anything until you give me my son back!," Mac growled. Reggie stepped forward and slapped Mac as hard as he could across the face. "Listen here you little fucker, you don't make the decisions around here, I do. YOU don't win, NINTENDO does. And if you don't answer correctly, then God help me, I will make sure you see the light go out of their eyes and their blood gushing onto the floor as I pierce their bodies with a million bullets," Reggie growled. In response, Mac spat on his face.

Reggie staggered backwards, bewildered. "You know what, screw this," he muttered to himself. "Chain him up and take him to the rehabilitation chamber. If he won't come willingly, we'll make him," he ordered. Mario and Link removed Mac from the wall and, after putting the proper restraints on him, began to carry him out of the room.

As they moved, a gunshot sounded from above.

Mario and Link turned around and looked down, seeing Reggie's lifeless body on the ground. Before they knew it, a hooded man came down from the ceiling, and in a short flurry of punches and kicks, had them knocked out on the floor. The man reached in his pocket for a walkie-talkie and spoke into it, "Alright, time to bring 'er down!"

A large, futuristic-looking floating ship crashed through the ceiling and hung in the air, sending down a rope ladder for the man, Mac, and the others to climb upon. "Come on, old timer, we don't want the higher-ups to catch up with us, do we?," the man asked. He took Mac's arm and moved towards the rope ladder, but Mac stayed back. "Wait, we can't go yet," Mac refused, "I have to find my son!" "I wouldn't worry about that, Marlin, you see…"

The man pulled his hood down, revealing the baby's face, except obviously aged by about twenty years.

"... I _AM_ your son."

Mac was LEGIT FUCKING SHOOK.

A few other personnel had since dropped from the copter and were now freeing the others and bringing them back up into the copter. After the deed was done, the whole gang made their escape in the craft. On the ride to some secret location, Future The Baby noticed that his father's mouth was still wide open. "Well, you're gonna have to get over this soon," he said, "Because the biggest fight of your life is about to begin. And it ain't no boxing match."

MEANWHILE in Japan, Iwata sat in his office when one of his servants entered the room. "Whattu do you wanntu?," Iwata spoke in clear Engrish. "The foolish American… he has failed," the servant announced. A huge-ass grin spread across Iwata's face. "I told you this would happengu…," he whispered.

The camera panned over a Japanese village, where legions of thousands of Nintendo Ninjas hid on each roof in darkness, ready to move out.

"... all we had to do… was leave luck to heaven."

 **END OF BOOK TWO**


	3. Book Three: Mackingjay

everyone was still in that craft from the end of part II

"we still have to find my son!," mac yelled. "I've told you like ten times already, I _am_ your son!," Future The Baby repeated. "How could you be my son? Just a few days ago, he was drinking Doc's titty milk, and you're 20-something years old!," Mac retorted. "I'm from the future," Future The Baby revealed. "That's how I know you're lying, time travel isn't real," Mac replied. "It just hasn't been invented yet, but it has been in my time," Future The Baby a-synonym-for-said-that-starts-with-r'd.

since the baby actually does stuff in this fic we're gonna give him a name now, let's call him Louis to add more confusion, maybe Lou for short

"Alright then, let's use your fancy science mumbo-jumbo to go rescue my kid," Mac suggested. "We can't. He's already been taken somewhere else. And besides, we can't stop what's already been preordained," Lou explained. "Taken somewhere else? You mean those monsters have my kid?," Mac panicked. "No, by some other people. This battle isn't just between you and Nintendo, there's a third group that's in the fray," said Lou. "And who's that?," Mac asked. "An organization that's on your side and dedicated to protecting video game characters like you," Lou told.

"See, a long time ago, even before I was born, they knew that Nintendo was too powerful and they would eventually go crazy, and you resisting a spot in Smash was the spark that lit the fire. We've been monitoring you ever since that initial refusal you made when you decided to stay with Doc and have had a plan to set in motion. When you and your family were captured by Reggie, we moved in fast to rescue you, but we were only able to save your son since you had already escaped," Lou spoke.

"Wait, isn't that what just happened?," Mac inquired. "It may be the present for you, but it's history for me," Lou continued, "With only the kid in their possession, they planned to use him to help defeat Nintendo, but then Mac and his army managed to stop them all by themselves, and there was no use for him anymore. But then, when they went to return him to Mac, they discovered that the man who was working with Mac was the baby himself - who had traveled back in time from the future and decided to stay with him. Knowing what they had to do, they trained the baby up for the next couple of decades, preventing him from ever being able to see his dad out of risk of meeting his future self, until they were able to send him back in time so he could fulfill his destiny and help save the world… and that baby was me."

"So you're saying I can never be with my boy again?," Mac asked, hurt. "You can be with your boy, you _are_ with your boy, I'm him!," Lou reminded. "No, it's not the same. You don't understand how it feels, I missed out on my daughter's childhood, and I promised my son I wouldn't miss his!," Mac shouted. "And how do you think _I_ feel, huh? I grew up my entire life not knowing why I didn't have a family, thinking that my father didn't want me, being raised to essentially be a killing machine. I had to look at you from afar, and it killed me to not be able to meet you, to talk to you, and now that I finally have the opportunity you don't even recognize me as your son," Lou replied, feeling hurt himself.

"Well how would you like to have a normal childhood? If we just went and got you back now-," Mac began. "We can't, that would create a paradox that would rip apart the very fabric of the universe," Lou explained. "Then how about we just go back in time again and-," Mac began again. "Time travel is only a one-way street, we don't have the technology to do it from both sides yet. And even if we brought a time machine over to the other side, it needs a type of socket that you guys won't invent for quite some time," Lou revealed. "So what you're saying is-," Mac began for a third time. "I'm stuck here. Permanently. This is my home now," Lou concluded.

"Wow…," Mac whispered, taking a few steps back. With Mac no longer hogging the spotlight of the story for the chapter, Lou turned his attention over to Doc. "Louis…?," Doc asked. "Mama…," Lou replied. Doc walked over to Lou and looked into his eyes. "Oh… it is you," he confirmed and hugged him tightly. "I know they say kids grow up so fast but this is ridiculous," Doc stated. "Mom, you don't know how much I've missed you," Lou replied, shedding a tear or two. "Well, you won't have to miss me anymore, this family is staying together from now on." Doc extended a hand towards Mackenzie, who had just been awkwardly standing in the corner with her friend, Annie, for the duration of the trip. "Right, Mack?," Doc asked.

Mack looked at both of them. "I… I don't know." She rushed into the next room, the doors sliding open when she neared them. Annie ducked in after her, and they closed behind her. "Are you okay, Mack?," she asked. "No, I'm not fucking okay!," Mack replied, "It's just… it wasn't that long ago when it was just me and Dad, y'know? When everything was fine. Then… then my other Dad came along, and then they had that dumb kid, and they forgot all about me, and… then all of this happened, I nearly got killed, and now I have a grown-up brother from the future… and worst of all, those bastards took my phone!"

Mack broke down and Annie took her in her arms. "Hey, hey, it's alright," she reassured her. "I… I only spent a few hours with him and… now he's gone forever," she sobbed. "At least you bonded with him in the end, right?," Annie asked, putting a cheery outlook on everything as always. "I'm sorry I got you dragged into this, Annie, I really am," Mack apologized. "Don't sweat it. I mean, what would I be doing if I wasn't here, taking slutty Snapchats?," Annie joked. Mack chuckled and looked up at her. "You're too good for me, you know that?," she asked. "I know," the other replied. They looked into each other's eyes and found comfort in them. They moved their faces closer towards each other…

Suddenly, the doors opened and one of the guards stepped in. "Brace yourselves, we're about to land." He went to walk back outside, then stopped. "Hey wait a second… were you guys about to engage in some hot, lesbian action?," he asked. "Tsk," Mack replied, "Even if we were, you wouldn't be able to watch us. We're only 13." "The writer hasn't officially confirmed that yet!," the guards retorted.

And then the writer confirmed that they were 13.

"Fucking fuck me," the guard growled and left. The craft began to lower itself to the ground, and the grass underneath it split open to reveal a secret passageway. The ship dove underneath, and landed in the carrier of a hidden building. A short while later, everyone began to spill out onto the floor. "This is it, our underground hideout," Lou introduced, "I understand you're all very tired after what you've just been through so we'll take you directly to where you'll be staying and you can get some rest."

Looking at their surroundings, the gang saw that, though the building wasn't a very high-budget venture-it was very clear that it was built by a small group of rebels with a modest amount of money-it had nevertheless been enhanced by tons of futuristic equipment, no doubt generously donated from the organization in a future where it's much more successful. The combination of these two made the place look like it had bipolar disorder, but it would serve fine for now.

Mac and Doc got their own room, as did Mack and Annie. In the former's, Doc tiredly jumped on his bed while Mac simply sat on it, contemplating something that was probably important. "Man, after all of that, all I want to do is cuddle up with someone. Want to join me?," Doc offered. "Not right now… I'm still thinking about everything," Mac replied. "Some lovin' oughta clear your mind up," Doc continued. "Is sex the only thing you can think of at a time like this?," Mac questioned. "Son, I have a few decades on you, if anything you should be the horny one here. The point is, you haven't deposited anything in me in a few days, and I'm feeling kind of empty inside," Doc explained. "Well I probably pissed in you a little when Mario and Link broke into our house," Mac revealed.

Doc sat up next to Mac. "There's nothing to worry about. We'll get through this," Doc told. "I know, it's just… this is such a big change," he said. "You know what was a big change? You coming onto to me that one day at practice. I was so unsure of it all, whether it was right for you and me to be in a relationship, but I went with it anyway, and that was the best decision I've made in my entire life," Doc acknowledged, "Maybe you just need to go with the fact that your son's now the same age as you." "But… how did you just get used to him like that? You didn't have any doubt about it or anything, you just went up and hugged him," Mac asked. "Because I knew that he was my kid. Once I got over the fact that I wouldn't be changing his diapers anymore, I was ready to embrace him. Sometimes things don't always work out the way you think they would, but then you gotta turn your wheels around and make the most of the new opportunities presented to you, son," Doc inspired. "Still giving me that A+ advice after all these years, huh coach?," Mac asked. "'Til the day you die, Mac," Doc put his arm around Mac's shoulder and shook him a bit, "'til the day you die."

Some hours later, after everyone was fine and refreshed, they all reported to the training room to… train, what else. On the way there, Mac spotted a locked door that led to a whole other wing of the hideout. "hey what's in there," Mac asked. Lou coughed. "Um, nothing important," he obviously lied, setting up some foreshadowing for later on in this fic. Now, once they were all gathered in the room, Lou began speaking: "If we're going to take down Nintendo as was foretold, or will come to pass, I guess, we're gonna need to be skilled in combat. Today, we will each choose our weapons." "I don't need any weapons, I'm a championship boxer," Mac proclaimed. "You've been out of the game for awhile though," Doc reminded him, "Are you sure you're up to it?" "I'd never not be up to it. Once a boxer, always a boxer," Mac proclaimed. "You know what, Mac, you're right! In fact, I'm gonna fight with my bare fisticuffs too!," he announced. "Uh, are you sure that's a good idea?," Mac questioned. "Of course, these guns are locked and loaded," he responded, holding up his arms and showing off his massive amounts of fat. "Don't worry, we'll get you two into shape in no time," Lou assured and moved onto Mack and Annie.

"So what are you in the mood for?," Lou asked Mack. "Hmm, I like those futuristic firearms everyone's carrying around here," she admitted. "Excellent choice. We have a dozen different kinds, though, so you'll need to be well-versed in all of them. For now, let's just start with the basics," he said, handing her a simple handgun, "now, in the future, our guns have three settings, 'stun', 'ice,' and 'kill.' You can probably guess from the labels, but 'stun' temporarily knocks out your opponent, 'ice' freezes them in-place, and 'kill' sends 'em straight to hell." "Awesome, I love damning peeps," Mack replied.

"You gonna have the same thing?," Lou inquired of Annie. "Nah, I want something unique. Hmm," Annie surveyed the room and found an interesting piece of equipment on the wall. "Hey, get me that bow and arrow," she chose. "Ah, you any good at archery?," he asked, fetching the weapon for her. "Well, I don't mean to brag, but I got the highest scores on that in _Wii Sports_ ," she announced. "Well, if you need any help, the arrows come with an automatic targeting light so you can see exactly where you're hitting," Lou explained. "Won't need it. Watch this," said Annie, and she removed an arrow from her sheath and prepared to launch it. "Uhh, you might not want to use that, it's one of the bomb o-" Annie launched the arrow and it blew a hole in the wall, which not only missed one of several bullseye targets in the room dedicated to archery but also caused a fire and the sprinklers in the room to turn on.

"Whoops," muttered Annie. Lou turned around and looked at the other recruits. "Hey, I don't think this is working," Mack complained, sticking her finger in the gun, and pulling the trigger, electrocuting herself and falling down to the floor. Mac threw a sparring punch towards Doc but slipped on the wet floor, and Doc then fell on him in return. "Oof, you're crushing me!," Mac groaned. "Oh sorry," Doc apologized. "And I can feel you popping a boner," Mac added. "Hey, that always happens when I'm on top," Doc reminded him. Lou sighed and buried his face in his hands, "We've got a long way to go…"

A familiar Disney tune began to play in the background. "LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS," Lou sang. He tossed a couple of pots into the air and pulled out twin handguns. "TO FIGHT NIN-" He shot the pots without even looking. "-TENDO!" The others grunted in agreement. "CAME IN SEARCH OF WARRIORS… YET I FOUND… SOME HOS!" "hey i only sent a nude selfie to a boy that one time," Annie opposed. "YOU'RE THE SADDEST BUNCH I'VE EVER MET, BUT YOU CAN BET BEFORE WE'RE THROUGH…" Lou walked up to Doc and patted his belly, causing a long ripple to move throughout that area of his body. "MISTER I'LLLLL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOUUUUU"

from this point to the end of the montage, * represents the lyric of the song and ** represents the visuals that occur during that lyric

*Lou: TRANQUIL AS A FOREST

**Lou left-hooks a punching bag and causes it to fly back.

*L: BUT ON FIRE WITHINNN

**Mac hits the bag and holds his hand in pain before sinking down to the mat like a wimp

*L: ONCE YOU FIND YOUR CENTER

**Lou fires like three arrows at once and they all hit their targets

*L: YOU ARE SURE TO WINNN

**Annie fires some arrows but they end up all over the place

*L: YOU'RE A SPINELESS, PALE, PATHETIC LOT

**Annie has one of the bomb arrows stuck in her bow and can't get it out as it's about to detonate

*L: AND YOU HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE

*Lou takes the bow away from her but the arrow blows up in his face, leaving it covered with soot, Annie smiles back at him sheepishly

*L: SOMEHOW I'LLLL

**Lou uses watermelons as weight lifts

*L: MAKE A MANNNN

**Doc takes bites out of his watermelons

*L: OUT OF YOUUUU

**Lou glares at Doc, Doc offers him a bite of one of his melons

**Annie: I'M NEVER GONNA CATCH MY BREATH

**Gang is seen trudging through a mud course

*Doc: SAY GOODBYE TO THOSE WHO KNEW ME

**Doc tries to climb up an obstacle course wall but falls off of it; it is revealed he was barely a couple of feet off the ground

*Mack: WHY WAS I A FOOL IN SCHOOL FOR CUTTING GYM

**Mack tries dodging a bunch of security beams in a simulated room, repeatedly gets her butt burned

*Mac: THIS GUY'S GOT 'EM SCARED TO DEATH

**Mac places a wet towel on Mack's derrière after the aforementioned event

*Random Soldier: HOPE HE DOESN'T SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME

**Random Soldier prances into the training room twirling around

*Lou: BRO YOU'RE NOT EVEN A PART OF THIS SONGGG

**Lou scolds the Random Soldier using the above dialogue.

*Chorus: BE A MAN YOU MUST BE SWIFT AS A COURSING RIVER

**Mac faces off against a robotic boxer, lands a few punches on it and is able to get its head to jolt upwards like one of those rock 'em-sock 'em robots

*C: BE A MAN WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYPHOON

**Doc continues running on a track and falls down, Lou passes him.

C: BE A MAN WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE

**Mack closes her eyes and fires a shot with her gun, and is actually able to knock down a bottle on a table a few yards away from her

C: MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

**On the surface, Lou looks out at the moon with a weary but determined look on his face

L: TIME IS RACING TOWARDS US

**The gang is walking up some mountains.

*L: 'TIL NINJAS ARRIVE

**Doc is sweating profusely and clearly having trouble moving

*L: HEED MY EVERY ORDER

**The other three take Doc's arms and help him continue the trek

*L: AND YOU MIGHT… SURVIVE

**Lou looks back on them with a slightly dissatisfied but understanding look on his face, then moves forward while the others keep on behind him

*L: YOU'RE UNSUITED FOR

**In the middle of the night, Doc wakes up from his bed.

*L: THE RAGE OF WAR

**Doc walks around outside for a bit.

*L: SO PACK UP, GO HOME, YOU'RE THROUGH

**Doc finds Lou working with some dumbbells, shoots him a look

*L: HOW COULD I…?

**Lou shoots him back another look, offering him a dumbbell

*L: MAKE A MAN...

**Doc walks over to him to take it

*L: OUT OF YOU…?!

**The silhouettes of Doc and Lou are seen as Lou supervises Doc liftin weights

*C: BE A MAN YOU MUST BE SWIFT AS A COURSING RIVER

**Everyone is up on the surface at sunrise watching something

*C; BE A MAN WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYPHOON

**In the distance, it's Doc! He's been running all night and his clothes are drenched with sweat, but he's doing it!

*C: BE A MAN WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE

** Doc finally finishes his run and sits down a bench, being offered a towel and a water bottle from nearby soldiers congratulating him

*C: MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

**Despite being surrounded by all of these people, Doc's attention is only on his son; he shoots him a look to say "Did I do good?" and Lou nods his head with a big, pleased grin on his face

*C: BE A MAN YOU MUST BE SWIFT AS A COURSING RIVER

*Mac is now fighting a whole group of boxing robots, smooth as hell he dodges all of their attacks, ducking under their arms and coming back up to knock them out with one punch and easily defeats all of them

*C: BE A MAN WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYPHOON

**Annie unleashes arrows from her bow in an extremely fast fashion akin to firing a machine gun, all of them hitting their targets in the corner; the arrows then explode leaving behind an awesome looking explosion behind Annie who faces the camera looking like a badass in a really nice money shot

*C: BE A MAN WITH

**Lou tosses everyone those sticks, the gang distributes them among themselves all team-like and stuff

*C: ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING

**Mack swings by an army of dummies on a rope from the ceiling, firing down on all of them easily with a machine gun

*C: FIRE

**The gang does a move with their sticks

*C: MYSTERIOUS AS

**Doc presses some measuring tape against his biceps and it breaks, we brief a brief shot of new and improved Doc and he's SWOLE AS FUCK holy shit

*C: THE DARK SIDE

**The gang does another move with their sticks

*C: OF THE MOOOONN

**Everyone strikes an awesome pose with all of their weapons

*Everyone: HWAH!

**They do the thing where they jump in the air and kick and it's so awesome omg *tear*

Roughly a month after the montage began, Mack and Lou are together in a simulated room. Running through some fake streets, they practice stealth and stay out of sight of the wooden Nintendo Ninjas popping out of the ground. Mack looked out over the side of her hologramic rock and a cardboard rose up; she immediately aimed her gun at it, but it turned out to be a little innocent girl. Putting her weapon down, she got up and continued to move through the field. Every dozen or so seconds, a new cardboard figure made itself known, and Mack effortlessly blasted it away with her handgun. However, she eventually heard a far off noise. In one swift motion, she put her handgun back in its holster and, at the same time, took out a shotgun which she then aimed at the risen cardboard many yards away. Taking a shot, she took off its head.

More figures began appearing all over the place and in no near vicinity to Mack, but she still found them in no time flat and disposed of all of them like a boss. Suddenly, cardboard figures started popping up near her again, only this time, they were mobile, and dozens began sliding towards Mack. Shelving her arms, she took out two swords from a pouch on her back and willingly allowed her enemies to get close to her. Then, in a flurry of moves, her blades flung around like a fork in a blender and the ground was littered with wood.

Mack let her guard down for just a second, and when she did, a huge cardboard figure ascended, towering over her. Immediately, she jumped forward and dove to the ground, but it wasn't because of the figure Not too far away, Annie had fired one of her arrows from an angle. It flew through the air and, thanks to how precisely she had calculated it, curved a bit and JUST missed Mack's ear, before impaling the figure's heart and deactivating it.

"Hey, I had that under control," Mack yelled. "Oh, you and your last-minute approaches. You're gonna get yourself killed one day," Annie warned. "And if I do, I'm taking the dirty bastard with me," said Mack. "Ha ha, classic Mack," Annie replied. "Come on girls, no time to lose, we've got to storm the castle!," shouted Lou, who ran by them. The gals followed, and a short jog later they found themselves at the final location of their lesson.

As soon as they entered, they found themselves being stared down by a bunch of robots aiming BB guns down at them from above levels. "Remember your delta formation!," Lou instructed them from the side. The robots began firing, and Mack acted as the guard for herself and Annie, deflecting their ammo with her blades, while Annie took them out in rapid succession with her now impressive archery skills. They sprinted up the levels, occasionally meeting a few stray robots not yet dealt with. In these circumstances, they made quick work of them, sliding on the floor before jumping up and blowing or cutting them down to size with the instrument of their choice. At the top of the castle, they entered the throne room of a robot painted to look like the certain CEO of a Japanese video game company. "Remember how skilled he is!," Lou called down from below. True to his warning, the robot was indeed skilled and lunged at Annie like a well-learned martial arts master. She slid out of the way and poked the robot in one of the pressure points on its back; now defenseless, she dropkicked the robot towards Mack who stood by the railing of the stairs. She caught the robot, lifted it up, and planted one of her handguns firmly at the bottom of its chin. She blew its head and threw it down the center of the room before it crashed in the lobby and became a pile of nuts and bolts.

"Excellent, excellent!," Lou cheered. The simulation vanished, and as such, so did the castle; Mack and Annie fell down through the air and landed on some mats on the floor. "You guys are doing superbly!," he said, giving them big hugs. "Well, we do have the best teacher," Mack replied. "Aw, you're just saying that because I'm your brother," said Lou. "Nah, if anything, I should insult you more because you're my brother," she informed. "Aww," went Lou, putting them back down. "Hey, after Mom and Dad's big match, we should go out for lunch, it'll be fun!," she suggested. "I'm up for it," Lou accepted, running off to go set up the two men for their battle. "Have I mentioned that your brother's _really_ hot?," Annie asked. "You haven't shut up about it," answered Mack. "Ah okay, I was just checkin'!"

Meanwhile, in the sparring room, Little Mac and Doc Louis were in the ring, getting prepared. "I've never fought against my coach before, this should be interesting," Mac made banter. "You're in for a treat, there's a reason why I brought the championship belt home so many times back in the 50s," he replied. "I could say the same thing, except instead of the 50s, in the 80s to mid-2000s period," Mac retorted.

The rest of the organization had gathered in the seats to watch this highly-anticipated event, the culmination of Mac and Doc's training thus far. Lou took his place as the announcer. "Alright folks, today we'll see just how far Little Mac and Doc Louis have gotten in their training here, and as they've been training under me, I can assure you that it's been very, _very_ far," said he. The crowd chuckled. "Round one!," he began, "Fight!" Mac and Doc put their dukes up and circled each other. "You've really picked yourself up these last few weeks. You're all buff now and you've gotten a lot more hairy," Mac observed. "You might say that all of my hidden sexy finally came up to the surface," responded Doc. "Nah, your sexiness was always in plain sight," Doc flirted. "Aw, you're too kind," replied Doc. Mac threw a punch at Doc, and Doc simply evaded it and planted one on Mac's right cheek. Whether by planted one I mean he punched him or he kissed him I'll leave up to you

"Thought you could distract me with that? You're still a rookie, son," said Doc. "Could a rookie do this?," Mac asked, and he threw another one towards Doc again. Doc dodged it once more, and went to plant one on Mac again just as he'd done before, but this time Mac blocked his arm with his own and delivered a blow to his stomach. Shortly after he uppercutted his opponent, and Doc flew back against the rings surrounding their platform. "You're smart," Doc acknowledged, wiping some sweat from his face with his gloves, "I've taught you well." He went for Mac again but Mac socked him again and drove him to the floor. "1, 2, 3! Round one goes to Little Mac!," Lou announced.

"Okay then, no more holding back. No more Mr. Husband," Doc muttered. When the second round commenced, he shouted "Look alive, Mac!" Temporarily blinded by this sudden shout, Doc sealed his victory with the first punch which knocked Mac back like a french fry. Mac bounced off the rings and back towards Doc, who gave him yet another hit. Discombobulated, Mac tried to hit Doc, but Doc evaded his attack and gave Mac's face more impressions of his fist. Mac spun around and tried to hit Doc again, but the occurrences of the last sentence repeated themselves. In one uppercut, Doc launched Mac a few inches off of the floor and KO'd him. Round two went to… well, you can guess, I don't have to flat out say every obvious detail.

Round three began. At this point, the men were sweating heavily, their testosterone levels were at their highest, and they were giving in their primal instincts having reached so deep into their fight. All of these mixed together to form one outcome… Mac and Doc began passionately making stage. Everyone cheered them on and, by the time the two had fallen to the floor struggling to get each other's clothes off, the rest of the organization pretty much went with it and they started having a giant fucking orgy. It was pretty hot. I can't even attempt to describe it, it was so sexy I would be doing it a disservice no matter how intricate and detailed I went in telling you about their very hot endeavors.

After this massive sex-fest, they went to the surface and left for a sandwich place intent on getting some delicacies topped with lots of ranch. From a tree nearby, a Nintendo Ninja had finally succeeded in his mission of finding out where the group had been hiding, and relayed his findings back to HQ.

Meanwhile in Kyoto, Japan…

"Iwata-sama, we have finally found out where the Americans are hiding!," one of Iwata's advisors shouted, bursting into his office. "It's abouttu fucking timeu!," Iwata yelled back, "What tooku you so damn long?!" "Well, Iwata-sama, they were living underground and only sometimes came up to the surface," the advisor tried to explain. "You baka! They're foreigners, inherently stupid, it shouldn't have takingu you a month to track them down," Iwata growled. "I'm sorry Iwata-sama, it won't happen again," "You bettu your assu it won't!" With a wave of his hand, Iwata shut the door.

"I-Iwata-sama, what are you doing…?," the advisor asked. "I haven'tu done-u this in awhile, so I have to refresh my abilities before I begin doing it a lot to those who we are about to face off against," Iwata explained. "You mean…?," the advisor inquired. "Yes, the Supah Ancient Marashu Artsu!," Iwata complained. His body began to glow and he reached his arm out, psychically lifting his advisor off of the ground. "Iwata-sama please… I beg of you…," the advisor pleaded. "Begging achieves nothing! You must take what you want by force. That's what Yamauchi-senpai taught me!"

A short while later, Iwata entered the training room of Commander Satoru Shibata, who you might know as the President of Nintendo of Europe, but most likely not as no one cares about Nintendo of Europe, and his army of Nintendo Ninjas. "You havingu a missioñu!," Iwata announced. "Whatever it is, Lord Iwata-sama, we shall gladly do it," Commander Shibata bowed. "You are to report to America and fetch Little Mac for me at this location!," Iwata ordered, handing him a piece of parchment, "Kill anyone else who is with him, but bring Little Mac back alive!" "As you wish, Lord Iwata-sama. I will dispatch my most elite group of Ninjas to do this task," Shibata informed, "SSB ranku, fall in!"

A group of forty ninjas gathered in front of them. They were the fighters of Super Smash Bros. 4… Donkey Kong, Samus, Kirby, Pikachu, Fox, Bowser, Pit, Villager, Wii Fit Trainer, Mega Man, Olimar, Luigi, Peach, Sonic, Marth, Rosalina, Zelda, DeDeDe, Lucario, Diddy Kong, Yoshi, Charizard, Greninja, Ike, Palutena, Pac-Man, Captain Falcon, Robin, Shulk, Meta Knight, Ness, Falcon, Wario, Lucina, Dark Pit, R.O.B., Ganondorf, Mr. Game & Watch, the Duck Hunt Dog, Jigglypuff and a generic-ass fucking Mii rounded out the roster. "We shall show them no mercy!," screamed Commander Shibata. "HEIL NINTENDO!," shouted the Ninjas, "HEIL NINTENDO!"

Meanwhile, the gang was eating at Disney Sandwiches. In the past, this restaurant was known as Subway, but then media conglomerate The Walt Disney Company began collaborating with them to create the illusion that they were all for progressive stuff when in fact they were a really shitty company behind the scenes, and they also provided Subway with fucking bags to sell with their kids' meals because children these days really want fucking bags, it tops like every single Christmas list holy SHIT, and then CEO Bob Iger discovered he still had a few quadrillion dollars left in his back pocket after paying for some prostitutes whose tits he snorted crack cocaine off of, and he decided to bring his company in the fast food business with this acquisition and then they slapped the Disney logo on it like they do on every damn thing they own.

"wow this five-dollar fix-it felix long is really good," said Mack. "meh, the Baymax-L-T is much better," Lou argued. "Oh, you guys and your meats," Mack jested. "You got something to say about the Baymax-L-T?," Lou asked. "Not much, other than that if you really wanted to get a ton of animal flesh, the Hamada Hiro sandwich would have been a much better choice," Mack replied. "What? You haven't even tasted this yet, here take a bite," offered Lou, attempting to playfully stuff it in Mack's oral activity. "Ha ha! No, get that away from me!," Mack giggled. "Lou. stop trying to get your sister to put your meat in her mouth," Mac instructed. The table exploded injto laughter. "That's hilarious!," Mack cackled, "except now I'm going to have the image of my older brother raping me in my mind for the rest of the week! That's almost as bad as when I was traumatized after seeing Mom and Dad roughly screwing each other in the utility closet of a pub!" fuck yeah continuity

"Ah, good times, good times. Welp, if everyone's finished, let's mosey on back to the hideout," Doc suggested. "hi here's my token line someone pay attention to me," Annie added.

They all went back to their hideout, but when they did, they were unaware of the legion of Nintendo Ninjas hiding in the surrounding trees in the forest that encircled the entrance. The gang entered, and shortly after so did the Ninjas. No sooner had our heroes turned around then the Ninjas had lurched forth for the kill. In nothing but repeated motion blurs, the Ninjas moved through dozens of soldiers, snapping their necks and killing them in several other manual but no less horrifying ways, until they would reach Little Mac and friends in the back of the pack. Fortunately, they had already been near the elevator when the Ninjas landed in the room, and by the time they had ended all of the soldiers, our heroes had narrowly escaped behind the elevator doors.

When they reached a lower level, they poured out of the elevator and found plenty of soldiers already on the scene with weapons. "We've already arranged transport for you out of here, go! Now!," the leader of this specific troop commanded in a David Hayter-esque voice. "Hey, you sound familiar, do I know you?," Little Mac asked. "You might." He turned around, revealing that he was, in fact, Solid Snake. "I was in _Super Smash Bros. Brawl_ , so you might've heard of me. However, after that, I got cut from the game along with some of the other sergeants here and joined the organization to prevent other video game characters from suffering the same pains. I don't typically hang out with the Nintendo crowd though, so I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't know much about me," he explained. "Well, what I do know is that you've got a fine-ass booty," Annie admired. "Yeah, I do, don't I?," Snake agreed, taking a glance at his butt, "I do a ton of glutes."

Suddenly, the sound of scampering was heard from inside of the elevator. "Alright, now get out of here! I'll see you on the other side!," Snake shouted. The others escaped, and the elevator doors soon after busted open and the Ninjas spilled out like spiders after you've made a hole in a particularly old and dusty wall. The soldiers fired upon them, but the Ninjas were too nimble and made quick waste of even the most elite among them. "Fall back!," Snake instructed. The soldiers took leaps back and continuing firing, and in the next room, some soldiers stood with cannons, blasting giant balls at the Ninjas. Still, the Ninjas stayed true to their name, missing all of the artillery and, in fancy slow-motion, jumping over the shot cannon balls, simultaneously killing everyone in the room. All hope lost, Snake abandoned telling his men what to do an took matters inside his own hands. He pulled out too very large blasters from no specific location, likely either out of thin air or his fabulous ass, and shot at the Ninjas. They, of course, took note of this. One Ninja leaped towards Snake and kicked him in the stomach. Snake dropped his weapons and flew back; the Ninja grabbed onto Snake's head and snapped his neck.

"PK FIRE!," shouted Lucas. Seconds before, our heroes made it throughout their doors, and from the clearly heard struggles behind them, the Ninjas weren't too far behind. Lucas used his magic to engulf the passageway in huge flames, aided by his soldiers with flamethrowers behind them. The Ninjas, seeing this, took the alternate route in the ventilation shaft. Going through the vents, they reached the other room and dropped down from the ceiling behind these valiant men. The Ninjas lunged towards them and they too did not make it out.

While some Ninjas dealt with obliterating Lucas and crew, the rest went after our heroes, who had just entered the next room. The defense force, led by Wolf O'Donnell, was already there however, and once the Ninjas entered their vicinity, Wolf and his legion of half-person half-animal people who looked like they had come into the fray from a horny furry's dreamscape sprang into action, tearing them apart. Nevertheless, a few Ninjas made it past this onslaught and caught up to the others. "Not today!," Mack screeched, pulling out her dual swords and slicing away Ninjas that reached for her. The last Ninja,, however, managed to knock Mack's weapons away from her and pin her to the ground. "Get away from my best friend, you fraggin' bitch!," Annie commanded, pulling out her bow and arrow and shooting the Ninja in the heart.

Annie grabbed Mack and pulled her along with her into the elevator everyone was piling into. Oh wait, did I say that was just one last Ninja that wasn't dealing with Wolf and his furry squad right now? I was wrong, there was two. The other last Ninja pounced on Little Mac, who too was still running for the elevator. Mac and the Ninja crashed through the walls and landed on a lower floor. "Dad!," Lou screamed, and he left the elevator and jumped through the hole to retrieve his near father. "BRUH!," Mack shouted, and was almost to leave too if Doc didn't hold her back. "We have to go!," he instructed, and the elevator doors closed as they rocketed up.

Meanwhile, Mac wrestled with the Ninja below. He kicked him off of him and then dealt a punch to the Ninja's chest that knocked the wind out of him. Mac then elbowed the Ninja in the neck, which probably hit one of his pressure points, as it was knocked out afterward. Thinking they were in the clear, Mac and Lou were then met by even more Ninjas that descended upon from the hole. In the ensuing battle, bodies were flung around the room, some of which dented that locked door that was casually mentioned awhile back. See, I told you that was foreshadowing something.

Mac took notice of this and said, "Quick! Let's hide in that room!" "No!," Lou screamed. Mac dashed towards it and pulled the door open, followed closely by Lou who repeatedly told him not to enter. Mac shut the door behind them and asked, "Why? It's much better than out there, what's the worst that could-? What the FUCK?!" Looking forward, Mac saw a cradle by which stood two individuals sleeping on the job. Mac froze. "Is that… my baby?"

And of course he was referring to the being in the cradle, not the too lazy-asses being lazy.

The elevator arrived at another room, one of the hideout's hangers which housed many of the organization's flying vehicles. Several of the ships were already occupied with personnel, and only one stayed open for our heroes to climb onto. Sergeants Popo and Nana commanded the troop on this level, the last line of defense for Doc and friends. As they piled onto the ship, the Ninjas broke through the elevator doors and did battle with the soldiers who fired rapidly upon them but, as we know by now, this was ineffective.

"You're not laying a finger on them, you damn dirty Ninjas!," Popo growled. "Let's get 'em!," Nana added. Wielding their hammers, the Ice Climbers charged towards their opponents and, demonstrating the most skill out of any of the Sergeants, worked together as a duo to pull off badass combo attacks and knock the Ninjas back successfully. However, they worked best as a pair, and when a Ninja managed to kick Nana back, away from Popo, their advantage had dissipated. By now, our heroes had piled into and closed the ship, and the Ninjas were now rocking the side of it in an attempt to get them to come out. "Nana! Open the exits! Let them get out!," Popo instructed, beating back Ninjas. "But what about you?!," Nana cried. "Forget about me, just do it!," Popo screamed. Nana turned her back to get to the control panel, just as Popo was overtaken by a Ninja.

Nana opened the exits from the control panel and the ships roared to life. In their ship, our heroes looked to see who their pilots were, Doc recognized them immediately, "Why, if it hasn't Glass Joe and Soda Popinski!" "hon hon hon," said co-pilot Glass Joe because he was very French. "My legal name is Vodka Drunkenski, Nintendo just changed it to Soda Popinski in 1987 to avoid controversy because they were a bunch of pussies!," corrected Soda Vodka in a thick Russian accent because he was very Russian. "Soda, Vodka, Wine, Root Beer, Lemonade, who cares, just get us out of here!," Annie yelled. "What the fuck do you think I am doing, little girl, having tea party?," Vodka asked. "Oi, just go already, Vodka! Geez, you damn Communists," interrupted Doc.

Meanwhile… "You had my baby all this time and you never told me about it?!," screamed Mac with a little bit of crying in there but it was a sexy-sounding crying because it was in his sexy half-Italian half-New York-ish accent he had cuz he was an Italian American from the Bronx. "Well, I did tell you that our organization took him and this is the only place where our organization is, where the fuck do you think he'd be?," inquired Lou. "I'm taking him back," said Mac in a firm tone. "No, you can't! You'd be creating a paradox, time has preordained that you are not to touch this child!," Lou warned. "Screw the universe, I just want to be with my boy!," replied Mac. "I _am_ your boy!," Lou yelled.

Mac looked at him. "I… I thought we had finally reached that kind of relationship during our training. I thought… you finally saw me as your actual son…," he said, tears beginning to well up in his eyes, "But I guess you don't." "L-Lou, I…," stammered Mac. "It's not FAIR, dammit! I'll never have your love! I'll always be competing with someone and the worst thing is that person's ME! I'm fighting _myself_!" Lou sunk to the ground. "I'm fighting myself…"

He banged his head against the cradle and because it was a particularly shitty cradle it broke and the baby fell into Lou's arms. I'm pretty sure there's some time law that says that the same person from different times can't touch each other, which is why, at that moment, Lou said, "Aw cra-" before a giant burst of energy spread from the two of them, knocking out everything in the area, fortunately, including the Ninjas, and unfortunately including themselves.

"Wait, we can't go now! We have to wait for Dad and Lou!," Mack reminded. "Don't worry, I'm sure they'll make their way out. I mean, it's not like we're going to blow up the place or anything," Doc assured her. "Hey, that reminds me, Lou left specific instructions for us to blow up the place as soon as we escaped," Glass Joe spoke. "What?!," Mack cried. "Yeah, so scary Ninja peoples don't follow us and we can deal a major blow to Nintendo's armed forces," Vodka remembered. Glass Joe pulled out a remote from his bag and pressed it. Behind them, the hideout exploded in a brilliant display of colors, incinerating everyone and everything inside atomic bomb-style; heck, it even left behind a mushroom cloud, that's pretty neat.

"NOOOOO!," Mack screamed as the ship ascended into the clouds, out of view.

Meanwhile, in Kyoto, Japan…

"Uh, Iwata-sama," proclaimed another advisor who entered his room, "Commander Shibata and his troops are… um… all dead." "FUCKING FOREIGNERS!," Iwata yelled, throwing everything on his desk to the floor. "They killed the President of my European branch, they killed the President of my American branch…" "Well, actually, we were planning to kill the head of our American branch, they just got to it f-" "Fuck off!," Iwata screamed, "Alrightu then! If it's a fightu they want… it's a fightu they'll get! I'm jumping into the fray!"

-splash screen-

 _IWATA BRINGS THE FIGHT DIRECTLY TO YOU!_

 **END OF BOOK THREE**


	4. Book Four: Climax

in some suburban town somewhere where the grass was really green and the sky was really blue and I think I described this in great detail before so I'm just gonna cut to the chase

"where the HELL is my daughter?!," shouted Annie's Dad. He, his wife, and pretty much everyone in town had been searching for this girl for like three months, they had a crapload of police there too and there were helicopters in the sky and general pandamonium everywhere holy shit

ok I just wanted to address that plot point back to your regularly scheduled fanfiction

"wow you guys are fucking douchebags! I can't believe you just killed my dad and my bro!," Mack yelled. "he left explicit instructions to do so, it's not our fault," replied Glass Joe. "yeah it was you could've elected not to be spineless cuntfaces," mack retorted. "mack, honey, calm down, this was for the greater good," doc tried to convince her. "no shut up i hate you," mack threw a tantrum and ran into the back room. Annie followed her cuz Annie was a follower and not a leader

"hey mack let's do a repeat of that one scene from Chapter III," annie suggested. "No I'm not okay! My dad and my bro… th-they're dead… I… I just can't believe it!," mack cried. "but didn't you hate them and think they made your life needlessly convoluted just a while ago?," annie asked. "i've had some goddamn character development since then, I don't mind them now... I… I love them," Mack sobbed. annie consoled mack by offering her a shoulder to shed her tears on. "you know…," mack said in between sniffles. "I'm not the only one who's gotten some development over the past three months…" She picked her head up and looked at Annie's chest. "ur boobs have too." The two looked each other in the eyes and then started macking, er, making out. and then it got really lewd and they did lesbo stuff and I thought it was really hot

meanwhile in kyoto japan iwata walked into the cloning room at Nintendo HQ

one of the scientists there noticed Iwata-sama walking in. "I-Iwata-sama! I didn't think you'd be coming soon! They aren't ready ye-" Iwata raised his hand and the scientist's head was trapped in some kind of weird mistiness. Iwata then flicked his hand to the side and the scientist's head snapped and he fell to the ground, ouch.

"free them," iwata ordered. the rest of the scientists, having fear struck into their hearts, pressed a bunch of buttons on some dashboards and a couple of capsules that were holding Mario and Link opened up. they stepped out. "that should be enough for today. come on you two, I need you for a special mission," iwata ordered. Mario and Link followed him, while behind them, dozens and dozens of capsules with clones of the flagship Ninty characters were being born in the nude. and it turned out that Link has his Master Sword on him at all times if you know what I mean hon hon hon

meanwhile back at the organization's headquarters everything was blown to bits except for mac and louis, who were still in the remnants of that one room they were in. they were enclosed in some kind of magical bubble that probably shielded them from the explosion, leaving them alive to fight another fic

"wat," said Louis as he woke up from his unconsciousness, "Aah!" Quickly realizing his mistake, Lou dropped the baby and the bubble around them and Mac vanished. "Unf," muttered Mac, who woke up that second as well, "what just happened?" "wow, the guys actually blew up the HQ. I thought they'd forget to do that," Louis said to himself. "Blew up the HQ? How the fuck are we still alive?" "When I woke up, there… there was a bubble around us…" Lou took the baby in his hands again and it reappeared. "Me and past me touching each other must trigger it. No wonder the legends lie and said that doing so would cause a paradox, they didn't want anyone to learn the secret to invincibility"

"so… us being with him doesn't have any effect on the universe after all?," mac asked. "well, it probably would've if he was older, but he's just six months old and won't remember any of this when he's older, so theoretically we could both do whatever we wanted and spend as much time as possible with him for awhile and not destroy all of creation," lou realized. "fucking A. then give him back to me you pedo," mac ordered. "I… I don't want to…," lou refused. "and why the hell not," mac asked. "cuz if I do you'll just go back to caring about him and not me…," Lou whined. "Aw, Lou… you're a grown-ass man, stop being such a pussy," mac told him straight up. then he took the baby and ran up to the surface. "Prick!," Lou yelled after him.

The two eventually reached land. "so, with the HQ gone, where's everybody that escaped headed?," mac asked. "where else? to confront Iwata," lou said as if it was obvious. "Really?," mac inquired. "Hey, we have all of our living personnel and weapons in those ships. they might as well," lou replied. "and what are we gonna do?," mac questioned. "what else? go after them," lou suggested.

meanwhile back on the ship mack and annie were still doing the hot and sexy but I can't describe it cuz they're underage and screw lawsuits

and the rest of the gang was at the front of the ship saying who gives a shit what they're saying and then HOLY CRAP something started firing at them out of nowhere, there were a ton of blasts of energy from below the clouds and everyone started freaking the FUCK out

"take evasive positions!," vodka instructed. everyone sat back down in their seat and buckled up except for mack and annie because they weren't into bondage. the ship dove to the side, ducking out of the line of fire from this unknown enemy, and then this unknown enemy decided to bare its balls and rise up. this opposing ship came out of the misty clouds and was surprisingly pretty small compared to our heroes' mammoth ship, but it nevertheless contained massive firepower

"we've gotta take that li'l bitch down, go into fighter mode Glass Joe!," Vodka screamed. "you got it, Soda!," Joe replied in his French accent and leaped from his co-pilot seat. "It's not Soda, it's Vodka you damn capitalist!," Vodka growled. Joe dashed into the back room, where he saw mack and annie going at it. As he was a European very well-versed in the fine art of making love, he felt compelled to drop down and give them a lecture right then and there, but it would have to wait til later, he had to kick ass.

So Joe left that room and went into the back where all of the shit was and not literal shit like shit shit that would be gross but shit like general goods. and there were a couple of fighter ships there too so Joe got in and flew off the parent ship and went after the bastard that tried to kill them. "pew pew pew!," went Joe's guns, the ship's gun not Joe's hella biceps, as they targeted the other ship. Taking its attention off of the main ship, this enemy ship turned around and faced Joe's ship. once joe got a good look at who piloted it, his pupils dilated and he was legit shook! he turned on his radio. "sacre bleu guys!," he practically screamed, "it's mario and l-!"

BOOM! Joe's ship got blown up by some of the enemy's fire. looks like he won't be able to give mack and annie fine love-making lessons. rip. :(

"Joe? Joe! JOOOOOE!," Vodka cried. "Mario and Link! I can't believe it, Mario and Link are out there! Nintendo's coming after us!," Doc panicked. "Well they can suck my foreign dingaling!," Vodka proclaimed to the heavens, wiping a tear from his eye, "I'll avenge you, Joe! Here Doc, take the seat!" "Where are you going?," Doc asked. "To avenge my capitalist buddy," Vodka explained, grabbing a bazooka that was conveniently placed on the floor and climbing out onto the roof of the ship. Once he was there, he pointed it directly at Mario & Link's vessel. "Have a taste of my superior Communist technology, motherfuckers!," he cackled. Sadly, by the time he finished his sentence, Mario & Link had already spotted him and shot at the roof of the ship. It struck, not only probably incinerating Vodka's ass but also taking off a decent chunk of the top of the ship.

"Fucking Christ, Vodka, why'd you have to go and be a hero?," Doc muttered to himself. "Dad, Dad!," Mack called, running back in from the back room and just barely finishing putting her clothes back on, "What the hell is going on?" "We're under attack by the same guys who kidnapped you and Annie the other day!," Doc explained. "Shit!," Mack growled. "Let's go and take him out ourselves!." Annie suggested. "yeah mom can i go pls," mack asked. "no way it's too dangerous," doc refused. "but MAAAAAM annie gets to do it," mack whined. "Oh yeah well if annie jumped off a cliff would you do the same?," doc said that old cliche saying. "If it made me cool, hell yes. i'm a follower not a leader," mack agreed. "hey i thought i was the follower and not the leader," annie butted in. "Bitch we both followers, we follow each other in an endless cycle of following so we never know who started it in the first place," mack explained. "my brain hurts bruh," annie replied.

"um you still can't go," doc reminded. "come on mom i'm thirteen years old i'm not your little kid anymore I just had hot lesbian sex in the back," mack begged. Doc looked into Mack's eyes and saw the longing there. She was right. She wasn't his little girl anymore. She could take care of yourself. "ughhhh alright fine just… don't get yourself killed or you're grounded for a week," Doc relented. "Yayyy ur the best dad ever mwah," mack kissed Doc on the cheek, "Alright let's blow shit up!" She and Annie sprinted over to where the ships were. Doc sighed. After he did, he took notice of the big-ass missile headed straight for his ship. "AHHH!," he screamed.

however ANOTHER SHIP pulled up next to Doc's ship and took the hit of the blow. It was one of the other huge ships carrying passengers and goods and unfortunately the missile struck it right in the center. The force of the impact caused the ship to break into two and explode, and everyone inside of it burned to a crisp as they fell to the earth below. it was kinda gruesome tbh

"YOU SONS OF BITCHES!," Mack screamed. as they were too preoccupied being impressed with their feat, Mario & Link had failed to notice that Mack and Annie were gaining on them. Their ship rapidly fired at the enemy's, and soon enough it hit it right in the wing. The enemies started to fall, but not before they were able to land one on the girls. "We're going down!," Annie warned. "what a couple of dicks," Mack insulted, pressing a button on the dashboard that opened up the big dome thing that surrounded the cockpit. She pulled out one of her swaggy futuristic shotguns and blasted the glass dome thingy their enemy's ship had. that enemy ship was really far away but Mack was a boss-ass bitch as we established in the last chapter so this was pretty easy for her

Mack then jumped out of her ship and fell through the air. "Suck it, twats!," she called, She fired another few rounds from her weapon which only hit the seat in the cockpit. Link jumped out of the ship after her and unsheathed the Master Sword from its holder really cool-like, as he pulled it out it did the "shreeee" thing and there were sparkles and normally sparkles are lame but in this instance they're cool. and then Link slashed his sword towards Mack but she blocked it with her shotgun and kicked at Link but then Link dodged that and then he kicked Mack in the stomach and Mack was stunned for a bit and then Link went to stab her but then an arrow stabbed Link in the forehead WHAT A TWIST it was Annie and she had her archery thing out =3

"heyahhh!," link cried as he performed his dying animation. Angered at the loss of his partner, Mario jumped up, shouting "Wahoo!" He uppercutted Mack producing a bunch of coins like his Up-B in Smash and knocked her back. "Mack!," Annie cried. She jumped after her and Mario chucked a fireball at her. Mack twirled her body out of the way and pounced on Mario, the two of them dropping back into the cockpit of Mario and Link's ship. "Get-a offa me, bitch!," Mario gurgled. Annie pointed an arrow at him. "Give me one good reason why I should!," she retorted. "Because-a Papa Iwata is coming!," he revealed. "What?," Annie whispered.

Another ship began rising out of the clouds, except this one was much bigger, about the size of Doc's ship. Once its full girth was put on display for the world to see, no one could doubt that it was being manned by none other than Nintendo Corporation Limited President Satoru Iwata. Mario pressed his hand to Annie's face and burned it. As she recoiled in pain, Mario jumped off and was beamed aboard Iwata's ship. Iwata's ship then turned its cannons towards the small ship that Annie was on. Finally, Mack decided to fucking rejoin the party and landed next to Annie, pointing her shotgun towards the cannon that was charging up and shooting a load into it, clogging it up and making it unable to fire.

As Iwata and Mario grumbled at this minor setback, Doc started getting more backup. The rest of the ships pulled up by his side, them with their cannons ready for firing. They shot down at Iwata's ship and it, overpowered by all of the organization's badassery, took a dive back below the clouds. Merciless, they dove down after it. And Mack and Annie got off their rinky-dink ship and jumped onto one of the big-ass ships being driven by King Hippo. Yeah, all of the ships were being driven by Punch-Out! characters.

Meanwhile, Mac and Lou had been walking for a few hours now and were getting really tired. "man we're really tired let's hitchhike," Mac suggested. They stood on the side of the road and stuck their thumbs out. Eventually, a brightly colored character stopped and offered them a spot in the back of his neon-lit motorvehicle. "Hey thanks bro," Lou accepted. "Yeah-wait… oh no…," Mac buried his face in his hands. "What, do you know this guy?," Lou asked. "From awhile back…," Mac muttered. "Hey… Little Mac, is that you? Man, you've really gotten into shape!," this man admired, "Last time I saw you you were practically a dumpling!" "'sup Captain Rainbow," Mac replied unenthusiastically, and jumped into the car. "So, where are you guys headed for?," Rainbow inquired. "my old training place," mac replied. "a'ight but i'mma need directions I don't know where the fuck that is"

MEANWHILE all of the ships were still descending from the sky. Iwata's ship had turned around and was firing missiles directly at all of the organization's vessels. They zoomed through the air in that really well animated style before hitting their target. "I'm down, I'm down!," shouted Von Kaiser over the radio from his ship. "Me too, me too!," relayed Piston Hondo from his. "Wow, I can't believe all of these beloved franchise characters are being relegated to one-line cameos! Also guys, we have to ease up, if Iwata keeps hitting all of us we'll lose too many peeps and goods!," Doc warned. "Yeah! And we're also about to hit the ground!," Mack shouted. "Mmm-mm-mrf!," King Hippo agreed. "Oh yeah, there's that too I guess Jesus Christ this is not our day," Doc breathed.

Miles away from the ground, Iwata changed the direction of his ship so it flew parallel to the ground. The other ships did the same and they soon after decided to just land cuz they were running out of fuel and crap. When they did, Iwata's ship did too and they all piled out of their respective ships and onto the battle ground. "Surrender, Iwata! It's just you and Mario against the hundreds of us!," Doc shouted. "Is that so…?," Iwata replied. He looked among the throngs of people. "So Little Mac isn't with you?," he asked. "No. He… he died," Mack answered. "I doubt that," Iwata retorted matter-of-factly. He waved his hand and all of the compartments in his ship opened up. Hundreds of hundreds of clones of Smash Bros. characters piled up, easily matching the number of our heroes. "Capture _all_ of them," Iwata commanded. The clones lurched forth to do battle. While I could explain this fierce battle in detail, that'd be too much work and it's really late at night when I'm writing this so I'm just gonna say that our heroes got their booties handed to them on a silver platter and were taken captive all the way back to Kyoto, Japan.

MEANWHILE AGAIN Mac, Lou, and Captain Rainbow had reached Mac's old training place and they entered it. "Ah man, this brings back so many memories. You know, this is where your father and I first realized our love for each other," Mac explained to Lou, "all the way back in chapter 1." "You and a guy hooked up? I never took you for the gay type, that always seemed like more of Birdo's thing," Rainbow admitted. "Nah, Birdo's just trans. Besides, your name's Captain Rainbow, you can't get much more homosexual than that," "So what are we doing here, just going to lift weights?," Lou inquired. He sat down on one of the benches for bench pressing. "Ew, it's all sticky," he complained.

"No. You had it right when you said this was going to be the biggest battle of my life at the end of Chapter II," Mac began, "And for that…" He looked in one of the closets and threw out a bunch of junk before he finally found what he was looking for. A big brown box. "Yes, this is it…" He opened it up and, just as they sat a few years back when he first placed them in there following his retirement from boxing, sat his coveted green boxing gloves and iconic boxing shorts. "I'm gonna need these," he concluded. "cool but shouldn't you wash those first they're probably dusty as sin," lou suggested. "there's no time for washing, there's evil afoot," Mac refuted.

Suddenly, a weird disc thing started buzzing on the table in the middle of the room. "wuts dat," Rainbow asked. "Idk some fancy pager me and Doc got at a yard sale a while back. never really used it though, not sure why it's going crazy now. the only people who have the number for it are me and-" A hologram sprouted from the base of the disc. The image settled on Doc, shackled in chains. "Doc! Oh my God, honey, what have they done to you?," Mac cried. "this is crazy, how do you know they're even alive and, even if they were, why would they even be at the old training place?," Doc asked someone off-screen. "It's… one of my secret powers," the voice, sounding like Iwata-sama responded. "Is that another way of saying the writers have no explanation for this plot development and are just hiding behind a deus ex machina?," Doc inquired. "Yes it is, now shut up and deliver the message," Iwata ordered, smacking Doc upside the head.

Mac flinched. "Don't hurt my boo!," he shouted at no one in particular. "Alright, alright. Mac, if you're there… I don't know if you are, but just if… Iwata has us captured. Every one of is. And he's gonna kill us. And then he's gonna do very bad things to the world in general and they're all gonna be shitty. And if you think you've seen some shitty shit before, that shitty shit ain't nearly as shitty as the shitty shit he's got planned. And the only way you can stop him is by meeting him at the Nintendo headquarters in Kyoto, Japan for a showdown. Please, Little Mac, you're our only hope," Doc pleaded. "Doc-senpai…," Mac whispered. "Actually, on second thought, don't come for us. Stay far away, Mac! Don't let him get you! If he does, he's gonna do horrible th-," Doc quickly tried to explain. He was beat over the head some more and the hologram vanished. "no, No, NO!," Mac yelled. He threw the disc on the floor and it shattered.

Mac marched towards the exit. "but wait Dad you can't do this what if it's a trap," Lou warned. "hell yeah it's a trap. and I'm falling into it. There's no way I'm going to let all of my loved ones get hurt," Mac replied.."Then I'm going with you," Lou offered. "No, I said I'm not going to let my loved ones get hurt," Mac reiterated. "What?," Lou muttered. Mac looked straight at Lou. "Look, I know I haven't been the best father, in fact, I've been a terrible one to you. But to cut this cliche speech short, I'm gonna make it up to you, I'm gonna make it up to everybody, even if it means dying," Mac replied. "Like hell you are, you old fuck," Lou replied. "excuse me whore," Mac retorted. "Back when we first decided to fight against Nintendo, back when we started our training, we were a team. And we're gonna end this as a team," said Lou. Mac looked deeply at him. "You're just horrible at listening to your father, but I'm not gonna blame you for that."

Mac socked Lou in the stomach and ran off for Rainbow's car. He jumped in and took off. How Mac got the keys for the car from Captain Rainbow, I don't know. I really should have come up with some explanation for that. But if I had taken to describing Mac taking the keys from Rainbow, when would I have done that? Couldn't have been during or after his talk with Lou, that would have messed up the flow. And I couldn't have before that either, as his little twist wasn't known then. It was pretty damn impossible, so let's just ignore that plot hole.

ANYWAY Mac was cruising along in his swanky ride, and he went to an airport somewhere. And that airport had some planes in it cuz airports have airplanes in 'em and he got in one of the airplanes and they took him to the lovely land of Nippon. And on that trip Mac gazed out of his window and contemplated a crapload of stuff. But the main stuff on his mind was how sorry he was for Mac and Rainbow and how he wished to see his hubby Doc's charming face one more time, to caress it one more time, to tell him that he loves him and he never wants to be without him ever again one more time.

so then Mac landed in the glorious land of Nippon and it was very neat. He went around eating some Japanese food like ramen and sushi and it was pretty tasty and he read some mangas except he couldn't read it cuz it went backwards for some reason and then he went around buying some souvenirs like Figma action figures and special Nintendo 3DS XLs except he threw those last ones away cuz then he remembered that Nintendo was evil. And then he went to Tokyo Disney Land and it was pretty fun and he rode the carousel (do they have carousels at Tokyo Disney Land? I'd think they would, but idk for sure) and it was fun and he felt like a kid again. And then he bought some gay hentai at a gay hentai shop and watched it but it was poorly animated and he couldn't jack off to it so he decided to watch _Naruto_ instead and it was even worse so he just went to sleep while the beautiful lights of Tokyo lit up the sky behind his window

and then the next day he got ready to go to Kyoto so he rode the subway and stuff and the subway rides were really long oh my god. and he saw a lot of peeps playing 3DSes and he told them "hey guys 3Dses are evel no play use a ps vita instead" and they were like "But mr. italy man ps vita don't got no pocket monsters" and he was like "but it got digimon" but they didn't care because the world still wasn't quite ready for the genius that is Digimon.

and then the train landed in Kyoto and he got out and he jogged a bit to where the Nintendo headquarters where and he went to it and he knocked on the door and he was like "hello I'm here to turn myself in hello" and then the guy on the speaker asked "Do you have a pass" and then Mac said "No i'm sure to surrender myself faget" and then the guy on the speaker was like "there are some very secret games being developed in here you can't come unless you have a p-ack!" The guy was killed by Iwata who then took to the speakers. "ok little mac-kun you can come on in" and so Little Mac came on in and sadly the coming was not the lewd kind

Inside, Little Mac was immediately handcuffed and escorted deeper into the building by some guards. He was led into the throne room which was similar to the late Reggie Fils-Aime's but bigger because Iwata was more important and also Japanesier because Iwata was very Japanese. "Puttu himmu on the flooru," Iwata ordered. The guards dropped Mac to the floor. "Ah, so you've finally commu to me on your kneesu!," Iwata barked. "Absolutely not… wait… yeah I guess I kind of am," Mac replied. "You thoughtu you couldu runnu away from me, huh you baka gaijin?! You thoughtu you could escapu the tight fists of Satoru Iwata!?," Iwata yelled. "I didn't think, I could. And I could still be doing that right now if I didn't come here cuz I felt like it," Mac retorted.

Iwata jumped down from his throne and approached Mac. "Don't strikku that tone with me, dicku!," Iwata growled."Look, how about you just put me in your Smash Bros. game and let my friends go so this can all be resolved in a timely fashion," Mac suggested. "Your friendsu aren't gettingu out of here," Iwata revealed. "So Lou was right, this is a trap. You're a fucking fuckwad, you know that right? If you want me to join the roster, you're gonna have to brainwash me now," Mac muttered. "Oh no. I'm gonna make you beg to join the roster!," Iwata cackled.

Iwata-sama led the way to the cloning room with the guards dragging Mac by his legs behind him. "You remember the cloning room, right?," Iwata asked. "Haven't been in one since the days of Smash 4, so you might need to refresh my memory. All I remember is that it was fraggin' terrible," Mac grumbled. "I'll havu Mario show it to you," Iwata replied. He gestured for Mario to do his thing. "As you wish, Lord Iwata-sama. Wahoo!" Mario hopped into one of the capsules in the front row of a whole cluster of empty ones. The scientists pressed a bunch of buttons on the dashboard and Mario's capsule began filling with some sort of liquid. Tubes shot down from the ceiling and entered the capsule through small metal holes that opened up to allow the things in. Once in the capsule, the tubes attached themselves all over Mario's body. One of them probably went inside his bootyhole

The scientists officially initiated the event. The tubes sucked blood from Mario's body. He moaned in great pleasure. "Ugh… it feels-a… so good MASTER!," Mario proclaimed. The blood then ended up in other tubes and, after mixing with the liquid inside of those, organisms began to be form, which ended up becoming clones of the Jumpman himself. A wet stain appeared in the crotch area of Mario's overalls. Having been subjected to this so many times between Smash and the million other games he's in, he seemed to have developed the ability to receive some sensual pleasure from it. "This is fucking disgusting," Mac said, revolted. "It's how it mustu be donnu. Every time, in a match of Smash Brosu., that a character is knockedu off-screen, they must be replaced with an identical duplicate. This is where these clones come in; we massu produce them and then send them off to each player's game just in time for that character to regenerate in-match. It's essential to the gameplay of Smash,, and Smash is one of our best-selling franchises."

"How about you think of something other than making money, you goddamned weaboo, this is fucking inhumane," Mac went into full disrespectful emo teenager mode. "This is _business_ , Little Mac, and here at Nintendo, we always get what we want," Iwata confirmed, "Now, get in a capsule, or all of your friends die." He waved his hand over at a TV and it turned on, revealing the rest of the organization trapped in some room somewhere. "They're in the abandoned Kyoto Monolith Soft development facility. Unless you get in there in the capsule in the next five seconds, we'll nuke it from orbit," Iwata threatened. Mac looked at the individuals on the screen. "Mac! No! Don't do it!," Doc cautioned. "Dad! Don't listen to Iwata! Don't give in to his demands!," Mack pleaded.

"Guys…" Tears fell from Mac's eyes. "Welp, time's uppu!," Iwata shouted. "Wait, no! Let me in!," Mac agreed. "Too late!" With a wave of his hand, the bomb started its course towards the facility. "It's already in launch." Iwata laughed. "No, no please!," Mac cried, falling to his knees, "Let me join the roster, let me clone myself, please, I'll do anything!" "I told you I'd have you begging me!," Iwata reminded, "Gwah ha ha!"

Then, the two heard a "schroooo" sound, y'know, like one of those sounds you hear when a bomb is being dropped. However, the bomb was being dropped at the abandoned Monolith Soft facility, not here, why would they be able to hear it…? Unless…? Everyone looked out of the window and saw HOLY SHIT LOU RIDING THE BOMB TOWARDS THE BUILDING. "No no no!," Iwata was legit shook. He waved his hands around, attempting to lower the effect the bomb would have upon impact with his magic powers. The bomb still hit the building anyway, but due to Iwata's efforts it didn't completely blow their guts open, it just destroyed the room, including all of the capsules, and blasted everyone back.

Lou jumped into the air, getting out of the smoke that now covered the premises. "Eat shit, you cockroach bastard!," he proclaimed, taking a shot at Iwata with one of his guns. Iwata waved his hands in front of him and produced a shield that the bullet ricocheted off of. Iwata held his hand out and air-strangled Lou which, due to his powers, actually strangled Lou. Mac got up and socked Iwata in the stomach, causing him to lose his hold on Lou. Mac raised his first to take another punch; Iwata pulled up a shield over himself again, but Mac's punches were too fucking sweet, and they shattered Iwata's shield with a single blow, and Mac took the opportunity to hit Iwata again, launching him quite a bit back.

"Lou! I can't believe you're here! Are you okay?," Mac asked, clearly surprised. "I'm fine. You didn't think I was going to let you have all of the fun, did you?," Lou inquired. "B-but… I told you… I wanted to keep you safe," Mac replied. "Dad, it's like you said, I'm a grown-ass man. I can take care of myself," Lou answered. "You're right. You're all grown up now," Mac accepted. "Hey… you didn't ask about the baby," Lou pointed out. "Yeah. I… I was more worried about you," Mac realized. "You… you were?," Lou asked. "I mean, if something bad did happen to him, then you wouldn't be here right now. So seeing you is all I need to know that you both are alright… that my son is alright," Mac confirmed. "Your son?," Lou inquired. "Yes, Lou… YOU ARE MY SON"

Father and Son clung to each other in a love-filled embrace. "I don't know why it took me so long to realize it, but now I do…," Mac whispered, "Looking into your eyes…You're my little Louis." "That's all I've ever wanted to hear from you, Dad… a-and I'm sorry if I ever… if I ever came across as…," Lou began, starting to tear up. "ssshhhhhh!" Mac pressed his lips to Lou's. OH GOD I MEAN Mac pressed his finger to Lou's lips. "It'll be alright," Mac assured. whew, I dodged a bullet there ( ._.) (._. )

"oh so where is he anyway," mac asked

"oh i left him in the care of captain rainbow," lou answered

"holy crap Lou I hope you're not too old for me to spank you for being so damn stupid"

"Fucking foreigners with your mushy drama shit!," Iwata grumbled, wiping a bit of blood from his lip, "Mario! Take care of them!" Iwata ran off as Mario and a crapload of clones took his place. "Come on Mario, it doesn't have to be like this. We're both half-Italian half-New York-ish guys! We're practically from the same neighborhood!," Mac tried to convince. "Bitch, New York is so 90s,, my official character biography says I live in the Mushroom Kingdom now! And even back then, you were in the Bronx and I was a Queens nigga!," Mario clarified. "so does this mean we gonna fight?," Lou questioned. "yeah we're-a gonna fight," Mario replied. "Alright then, Mario. Let's-a go!," Mac proclaimed.

Meanwhile

"shit shit shit guys where was the bomb that was supposed to kill us all what if someone interfered with lord iwata-sama's plans omg this is terribad *tear*," said all of the guards who were panicking and had no chill at the Kyoto Monolith Soft development facility. As they were all busy being pussies, the organization members were all able to free themselves from their bondages and were about to make their escape. "Alright, I'm sure there are plenty of ways out of here, but we won't know any of them unless we have a map of the building," Doc explained to the several hundred people in a small utility closet. How did they all fit in there, fuck if I know

"Now I'm sure most of the guards and other Nintendo personnel have their maps on themselves, so we're gonna need someone to distract them and snatch one from them," Doc continued. "Me and Mack are up for the job!," Annie volunteered.

Mack and Annie made their way through the halls, weapons in hand, until they came

to an area where a large amount of guards patrolled. "So how we gonna get this work done?," Annie asked. "We ain't gonna get this work done," Annie corrected, "gonna get this TWERK done!" "wut," Mack replied. "I've seen that _fine_ gold you've been hiding in your treasure chest, no one can resist that looty," Annie continued. "what are you talking abo-," Mack stammered. "Your parents done their glutes, and have given you a fine booty!," Annie praised. "Umm…," Anne muttered. "It's so round and firm, but at the same time, so soft and jiggly," Annie admired, "It's invitin', saying 'Baby, come and greet some o' dis ass meat!,' but it's also commandin', saying 'You gotta work if you want to get accESS to this assET!" and she slapped Mack's butt with each of those emphasized syllables.

"But… I've never twerked in my entire life," Mack replied, nervous. "Honey, you're a teenage girl, even if you've never twerked you still have the innate ability to deep down. Just get out there and show 'em what you're made of," Annie encouraged. "You're right. I can do this!," Mack replied. She strutted out there among the guards and struck a pose. "Hey boys!," she commanded. Everyone stopped and looked at her. She bent over, putting her plump ass in the air for all to admire. "Like what you see?," she inquired.

All of the guards began sweating and some even got nosebleeds. As they were Nintendo employees and hence fans of the company, they were obviously all nerds who hadn't had any kind of sexual experience in their life. "Who wants to get twerked on?!," Mack called, moving her butt around and smacking it hard, making it look oh so palatable to the men (and even the women) in attendance. Suffice to say, they all ran towards her, hoping to get some of that bottom action. As fate would have it, underage ass wasn't on their menu today. Mack turned around as soon as they were in a foot's distance of hers and pulled out one of her machine guns, firing rapidly upon the crowd of sex-starved Japanese employees. Quickly, she grabbed a map from one of her victims and ditched the scene along with Annie before the remaining guards could catch hold of them.

"We've got it! We've got it!," Mack screeched as she and Annie ran down the hall to where all of the others were bundled up in the utility closet. "Let's see it," Doc reached out to take it. "We have to read it on the run!," Annie alerted as the duo passed him. "Why?," Great Tiger inquired, being another Punch-Out! character relegated to a one-line cameo. They then all saw the guards running towards them and decided to hike it as well. Doc caught up to Mack and Annie. "A'ight, lemme see that now!," Doc said, taking the map. "Ah yes, there are that many exits, and there are this many of us, so we'll have to divide into groups to make it out ALRIGHT LET'S DO THIS SHIT" and so they divided into groups and they did that shit where they went their own routes and took down the guards on their routes until they made it out of the building and eventually they all got out of the building and it was TITS

MEANWHILE Mac and Lou were still hacking down Mario clones left and right. "Man, this is gonna take forever! Iwata's gonna get away at this point," Mac complained. "Go after him then," Lou suggested. "What, are you serious?," Mac asked. "Of course I am. You said it yourself, he's getting away, go catch him. I've got everything handled here," Lou assured him. Mac nodded in agreement. He ran out of the cluster of Mario clones and sprinted up the stairs to the top of the building so quickly that he was practically flying.

"IWATA-SAMAAAAAAAAAA!," Mac screamed as he reached the top floor where his target was. "Huh?," Iwata stammered, looking around his room. "LET'S SEE YA GRIT THOSE TEEEETH!," Mac yelled in a _Gurren Lagann_ reference as he barged into Iwata's room and belt him hard as FUCK across the face. Some teeth and spit flew out of Iwata's oral cavity and he flew back through the window, breaking the glass. The force of this punch was so intense that Iwata was flung through the air and crashed through the window of a building across the street, landing on some poor denizen's desk.

Little Mac leaped to the other building and prepared to launch another assault on Iwata's cheek. As he did, Iwata reached into the holder attached to his belt and took out a blade. He slashed Mac with it, causing Mac to be thrown back to the other side of the room. "You cannot defeat me!," Iwata screamed, standing up and subsequently cackling. He jumped over to Mac and beat him with his sword again, tossing him out into the hallway. "BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKAAAAAAA!," Iwata screeched to the heavens as he repeatedly cut Mac up, throwing him this way and that across the hallway totally wrecking shit much like the Ryuko/Satsuki fight in ep 3 of _Kill la Kill_.

Iwata kicked Mac into another room and he crashed into some tables. "I'm gonna fucking kill you, and then I'm gonna fucking kill all of your friends! I don't give a damn about what some members of the Smash community think about you never coming back, you were never fun to play with in the first plaaaaace!" Iwata bore his blade down upon Mac, but Mac raised his fist up to the tip of the sword. Mac literally punched the sword and it _shattered_ holy shit what a badass

"listen here you right fucker," Mac proclaimed, standing up face-to-face with Iwata. Uplifting music played in the background. "Don't EVER threaten my friends!" Mac lurched his fist back and WHAMMED Iwata in the face! Iwata broke through some of the walls in the building until he ended up in mid-air outside. Mac ran towards him and jumped out of the hole he made. "MY FRIENDS. ARE. MY. **POWERRRR!** " He lunged for Iwata, but Iwata finally went into Serious Fucking Business mode. His eyes glowed green blue and an aura began radiating from him. He held his hand out and stopped Mac in mid-air. He flung him into another building, which he met with a loud "CRASH!"

"You've pushed me over the edge, Little Mac! Now you must face my SUPAH. ANCIENT. MARASHU. ARTSUUUUUUU!"

and also because of this Iwata was able to fly

"Bitch I can fly too!," Mac shouted. With the power of friendship and familial love, Little Mac too rose into the sky, awakened with new powers. And he and Iwata began to have their Dragon Ball Z fight

Meanwhile Lou was still dealing with those Mario clones. "jesus christ you guys are annoying, how do your games even sell?," he asked as he mowed down rows and rows of them. "THE CAVALRY'S HERE!," screamed Doc as he and the rest of the organization barged into the building ready for some action. "It's about goddamn time!," Lou called back with the biggest-ass grin on his face. The organization members laid the smackdown on the Mario clones while the Mac-Louis family reunited. "Bro! Bro...," Mack embraced Lou in a really tight hug. "It's really great to see you too," Lou returned the hug. "You don't understand…," Mack looked up to him with tears in her eyes, "I thought you were dead. I really did, and now you're here and alive and I just…" "Hey, hey…" Lou wiped the tears from her eyes, "It's okay. Your big brother's here, and we're sticking together from now on."

"crap crap CRAP they're cutting down the rest of the mario clones!," one of the Nintendo guards complained. "Call in reinforcements! Get the rest of the clones over here to fight them!," another guard ordered. "But we can't, the only clones left are the ones that are being sent out to Smash!," the guard reminded. "Then use those!," the other guard continued. "But then how are we going to replace the fallen clones in the millions of online matches?!," the guard questioned. "Cut the servers! Turn all of them OFF!," the other guard demanded.

Across the world, all of the kids and adults enjoying the wholesome family fun of Super Smash Bros. Whatever Number They're Up To At This Point online had their matches disconnected and found themselves unable to join any more. "aw man this blows," said one particular individual from Finland

"New objective, clones! Kill all those dickheads!," the guards instructed them. The hundreds of clones of every playable character in the latest iteration of Smash charged towards our heroes, who were just reeling back from making quick work of the company mascot. "Let's go!," Lou led the group into battle. "Fuck yeah!," cheered Bald Bull in another one-line cameo.

MEANWHILE AGAIN Mac and Iwata were making their way through the city of Kyoto duking it out. They flew around buildings at breakneck speed and lunged at each other, meeting each other's punches in huge sonic booms that caused all of the nearby glass to shatter and created gigantic craters in several of the skyscrapers. Iwata formed a ray of condensed energy and shot it at Mac. Mac ducked as the ray sliced through a building, causing the top part of it to slide off and collapse on the ground in a huge collision that probably killed a bunch of people and also caused a huge fire.

As Iwata gazed down at it, wondering if it took out his nemesis, Mac snuck up behind him. spun him around and punched him in the face. Iwata fell backwards and hit a building. Mac flew up to him and punched him again, launching him further into the building. And even in the building, Mac flew up to him AGAIN, grabbed his head, and kneed him in the face jesus christ Mac had no chill today lmao

Iwata had a pretty vicious nose bleed from that kick and his blood painted the floor in an almost cartoony fashion. But this didn't deter him, no sir, he then took Little Mac by his fabulous hair and dragged him outside. Iwata chucked Mac at a nearby building and he crashed through that edifice, and the next, and the next, kinda like a boomerang except he didn't come back. Iwata flew over to where he was and karate chopped him downward. Mac fell to the ground and created a ginormous hole in the street and probably produced some minor tremors. Then Iwata flew down, picked Mac up, and dropkicked him for good measure. Mac flew out of the city and landed in some grassland, obviously digging up some of it when he met the ground.

Weak, Mac struggled to get up but wasn't successful. Iwata hovered down next to him and grabbed him by the neck with his bare hands. "Normally, I would just kill you telepathically, but this time… for you… I will do it with my own flesh, so I can FEEL the live force leave your body!," Iwata screeched, having more or less gone completely insane by this point. Just then, Iwata's ship from before came upon them, hovering above them. "Baka minions, what they do want now?," Iwata growled. "I don't think those are your men, Iwata-san," Mac replied. A cluster of missiles were discharged from the ship, locked onto Iwata. "No, no! Agh!" Iwata dropped Mac and flew off as the missiles followed him and eventually blew up next to him.

Meanwhile, Doc poked his head out of the side of the ship. "Mac!," He called. "Doc!," he called back. Doc jumped out of the ship, even though it was really high up, and landed on the ground next to Mac, though in reality if I followed the laws of physics in this fic he should've been seriously injured or killed. "god God GOD I've missed you so much!," Doc shouted, ferociously glomping Mac. "Me too, me toooo!," Mac replied, returning the fierce hug. They began to make out passionately, at first not even tongue-kissing. They just wanted to feel each other's lips again, to be close again, and then after that they opened their mouths and let their tongues reunite almost as fiercely as they themselves had, perhaps even more so, becoming well acquainted once more with the taste of everything in their chew holes. And though the power of friendship of familial love is strong, the power of hot gay love is even stronger, and as soon as Mac started getting hot and bothered from making out with Doc, his wounds disappeared and his vigor was regained, becoming more powerful than ever.

"F-fools!," Iwata yelled. He glided over to them, visibly worn off, but still intent on fighting. "You can't win! Nintendo always wins! _I_ always win!," Iwata cried. "Sorry, Iwata, but it looks like it's game over for you," Mac announced. "Final attack?," Doc suggested to Mac. He nodded back. The power of love strengthening them, the two rose into the air and lunged towards Iwata. Manliness coursed through their veins as they lurched their fists back and uttered the following words:

" **CHAMPION**

 **PUNCH!**

 _ **FINISHING**_

 _ **BOXER**_

 _ **BLOW**_!"

"Oh, right now? Well, if you insist…," Mac began to pull down his pants. "No, that's Finishing Boxer Blow II. I'm talking about Finishing Boxer Blow I," Doc explained. "Ah, that makes much sense," Mac conceded. Together, they delivered the culminating punch to Iwata, pushing him back into some huge hills in the distance, causing them to explode. How the hills exploded, idk, but it was awesome and the animation of Iwata flying back into the hills was pretty nice and it looked like the budget for the whole season went into that shot.

"hell ye we did it baby," was the unanimous acclaim of all of our heroes. They had just defeated main antagonist Satoru Iwata and ended Nintendo's reign of tyranny; seems like the perfect time to end this fic for me.

BUT WAIT SHIT NO

"ughhhh," came a guttural voice from the leftover flames. A being came forth from it and began walking towards our heroes. Its skin was all burned off and its flesh was on fire and I think one of its eyes was hanging out of its socket and it was just gross, ew. "Kill me… please… just kill me…" And it became apparent to our dynamic duo that this individual was Iwata, who, for some reason or another, was unable to die.

Suddenly, the gates of heaven opened, and down from the sky fell Masahiro Sakurai, the director of the Super Smash Bros. series. "Sakurami-senpai, please…," the undead Iwata pleaded. "You failed me in the end," Sakurai shouted in a loud blooming voice that made the earth quake and every creature of nature listen closely, "but you served me well over time. I shall relieve you of your burden. You are no longer immortal. You may die." "Thank you… thank you…," Iwata breathed as his body dissipated into sparkling dust, "I will be with you again… Yamauchi-senpai."

"You… are you… God?," Mac asked. "That is the correct," Sakurai replied. "Well, that explains why he never ages," Doc noted. "Welp, thanks for getting rid of Iwata for us, he was kind of creepy," Mac thanked, "See you around." "Stay," Sakurai commanded. Doc and Mac felt an unstoppable urge to stay. "That man was one of my disciples. I sent them to gather up all of the roster members I needed for my game. And you stopped him from completing his mission. You must now receive eternal punishment for your sins!." Sakurai shouted. Wings sprouted from his shoulders and from out of thin air he pulled a glistening white katana.

"Now just who the hell do you think you are?!," voices from above sounded. Sakurai looked up. Organization members were falling down from the ship en route to do Sakurai in. "We just went through a crapton of effort to save these guys, we aren't just going to let you kill them like that, even if you _are_ God!" However, as soon as these individuals entered within a certain distance from Sakurai, they dropped to the ground, dead. "That's some sort of force around him!," Doc deduced. He cracked his knuckles and prepared to go in. Mac stopped him and reached into his bag. He tossed Doc a pair of his old gloving gloves from the '50s. "Thanks, Mac," said Doc.

After putting his gloves on, Doc ran towards Sakurai and prepared to deliver a punch to his address. Sakurai faced Doc just as his fist scraped the force field. The hit caused the force field to become visible, which in turn gave off light and a small gust of wind. Afterward, the force field pushed out, launching Doc back towards Mac. Doc's hand hit Mac's arm and Mac raced in. "Wh-what? Son, this is boxing, not wrestling, there's no tag-teaming!," Doc shouted. "At this point, who gives a shit!," Mac replied, lunging for Sakurai's force field. When he hit it, he caused a small crack. Mac managed to sneak in a second blow, which caused the crack to enlargen. Sakurai pushed him back telepathically, and then glanced at his damaged force field.

"This man… he is so powerful that he can… destroy my field… I must take him down!," Sakurai growled. He dispersed his force field and leaped towards Mac, katana in hand. Sakurai slashed at him several times with utmost grace, being God and all, and Mac just barely managed to dodge them without losing any vital body parts. "Mac!," Doc yelled. He ran over to where Sakurai and Mac fought and, in his onslaught against Mac, Sakurai unintentionally (though I'm sure he would've done so intentionally sooner or later) cut Doc across the chest. "Doc!," Mac cried. Doc fell to the grass, blood oozing from his chest. "You… you bastard!," Mac yelled at God.

"Dad!," Mack called from above. Mac looked up. "Take this!," she shouted, chucking a handgun down at Mac. As Sakurai prepared to deliver the final strike, the handgun landed in Mac's hand. He pointed it at Sakurai's forehead and pulled the trigger just as Sakurai buried the blade in Mac's chest. Both of them looked at each other. "You… you got me first… by a nanosecond…," Sakurai struggled to breathe, "Ugh… I'm sure you'll make… a great successor."

Sakurai dissipated into sparkling dust just like Iwata had done before, but this time the dust particles circled around Mac's body like rings. All of his ailments were cured and Mac became utterly and holy perfect. He was now the new God.

"M-Mac?," Doc asked, looking at all of the commotion going on. A portal opened up in the sky; Mac spread his wings and soared up to it. "Mac?! Mac!," Doc yelled after him. The ship neared Doc and dropped a rope ladder down to him. Doc grabbed onto the ladder and the ship swung it back and forth until it was high for Doc to jump into the portal. And he did right before it closed.

Doc found himself floating through a corridor filled with colors, all different shades fluttering all around him. A heartwarming Japanese song sung by some high-pitched voices played in the background, kinda like "Give Me Wings" from _Evangelion 2.0_. "Mac?! Where are you?!," Doc cried. Further into the corridor, he found Mac, too floating to the other side. Doc swam through the air to get to him. "Mac! It's me! G-grab my hand!," he cried. Mac opened his eyes. He looked up at this man. "Doc… Doc, what are you doing here?," Mac asked. "I'm here to rescue you," Doc replied. "I don't need rescuing, Doc. I'm going home," He replied. "Home?," Doc inquired. "Yes. To my throne in Heaven, where I will rule over all of creation for the rest of eternity."

"But… what about me?," Doc asked. "You cannot live in Heaven in your physical body. You must go back. Live your life," Mac answered. He turned around, but Doc took His arm. "I don't have a life. Not without you," Doc said solemnly. Mac paused. "Remember what we said when we got married? We'll be together… 'til death do us part," said Doc. "We never got married," Mac reminded him. "We didn't? Oh, right. We just got pregnant with Mack, had her, and lived together from there," Doc remembered. A bit of the old Mac broke through this new God Mac. "Would you like to get married now?," He offered. Doc looked at him and smiled.

"Alright… Do You, Little Mac, take me to be Your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part?," Doc asked. "I do…," Mac replied, "And do you, Doc Louis, take Me to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part?" "I do…," Doc teared up a little, "with every ounce of my being." "Then, by the power invested in me, being God and all, I pronounce us husband and husband." And they kissed, for the first time as a married couple.

"You know… after we get married, we have to consummate it," said Doc, wiggling his eyebrows. "Just what I was thinking," agreed Little Mac in his sexy half-Italian half-New York-ish accent He had cuz He was an Italian American from the Bronx. They tore off their clothes which fluttered off somewhere and they began sucking each other off. "mmm, oh god, little mac, your holy mouth is doing wonders at getting my dick hard. or, instead of god, should i say oh little mac since you're god now OMG OMG MMM THAT FEELS SO GOOD!," Doc moaned in pleasure.

The two moved until they got in 69 position. Mac continued lavishing Doc's sausage and Doc ate out Mac's godly asshole. After they finished getting warmed up. Doc bent over and Mac inserted His other-worldly wiener into his inviting crevice. Mac fucked him long and hard, but it wasn't too rough nor too soft; no, it was just right, as Mac now did everything perfectly since He was God. "YES MAC DADDY FUCK ME YESSSS MAC DADDY FUCK ME BEAT MY INSIDES WITH YOUR PEEPEE," Doc cried. "unf unf unf uhhh this feels soooo goooodddd doc oh my meeee oh my meeee," Mac moaned. He grabbed Doc's wiener and started beating it off for him. "yessss gettin pleasure from both sides thank you mac daddy god bless er i mean little mac bless," Doc thanked. "no prob bae," Mac replied and gave him a sloppy wet kiss.

After a bit more fucking, they both found themselves about to cum. However, they were now nearing the entrance of Heaven. "Th-this is it…," Doc whispered. "No, it's not. There's a way we can go back," Mac suggested. "How?," Doc asked. "We have to unleash our massive loads at the same time. And I don't mean just our semen, I mean our whole beings, all of our energy, everything that we are, were, and ever will be, and that will be enough catapult us out of here," Mac explained. "Alright… let's do this," Doc agreed. They jacked each other weewees off. "unf… UNF… **UNFFFFF-AHHHHHH!** " Doc and Mac finally reached their climaxes and let loose an enormous amount of hot, sticky, cum. It went through the portal and touched the floor of heaven. Doc and Mac entered the portal but they didn't touch the floor of Heaven, as their gunk geysers rocketed them back into the dimensional corridor.

As they traveled back up, Doc looked at Mac.

"We'll always be together, right Mac?," Doc inquired one final time.

"Always, Coach."

Back on Earth, a rip in the fabric of time and space was produced. It cracked and cracked some more until Doc and Mac BURST through it, causing chunks of time and space to land on the ground and the two of them to shoot up on their still spurting streams of semen into the atmosphere. As they entered into space, the rest of the Doc-Louis family looked on at them from inside the ship. Lou was hugging both Mack and Annie at either of his sides. "Will they live happily ever after, bro?," Mack asked. "Yeah, will they?," Annie additionally pestered. Lou chuckled heartily. "Yes, they will, girls."

"Yes they will."

 **THE END**


End file.
